Explore Your Own Mind And Find The Mind Screen

This episode is a recording of the third session with Christine. In the beginning she shared her current situation and challenges. Later, I guided her through the exercise of looking at how the mind works and finding out where and how the images show up. you are welcome to explore together with Christine and find in your own experience where the mind screen is.

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Transcript

Welcome to the show! This is episode 81, Explore your own mind and find the mind screen

My name is Ilona Ciunaite. I am a guide, an author, and a co-creator of the Liberation Unleashed community. If you’re are interested in all things awakening, this podcast  is for you. Over the past 13 years, I’ve had been guiding and supporting seekers on their journeys to discover inner peace and freedom.

In this podcast I dive deep into the heart of awakening. Together with my guests, we explore the pivotal moments that spark transformation, what life looks like before and after the shift, and how to navigate the challenges and beauty of living an awakened life. Whether you’re a seeker, a teacher, or simply curious, there’s something here for you.

hello Christine hi Ilona it's great to be with you again you too really good to see you thanks for meeting me meeting again this week so how was your week tell

me so um last week's session was really beautiful and really really helpful um yeah I've tried to revisit it a couple times I look forward to that coming up or you know being posted or whatever at some point but um yeah just that sense

of kind of connecting to what's here the Earth you know and to just remembering that that's part of this experience I think there's been so much intellectualizing you know of Concepts and stuff it's like well what is it that it feels like it's real even if it's not necessarily or you know whatever um and then along the lines of the sort of what's seemed real and is here now um it's kind of a long story but and we haven't talked a lot about a lot of the stuff that kind of brought me to this path but basically life just imploded in every area and one of the areas was around work and um money and divorce was part of that whole situation too but um and I had to stop working basically my brain just kind of stopped working kind of had kind of a nervous breakdown basically is how that look like yeah yeah terrifying and so since then I mean it's been a couple years really of just trying to like navigate this whole thing along with regular life and uh working part-time doing some other just stuff that's not kind of career related and um recently in the past few months have had moments of like okay so so kind of how that looked logistically was that just to kind of take this time what felt like needed to happen was that like I needed to like not be so focused on this sort of regular career whatever work stuff and just take some time to um yeah figure out what this is all about and who I am and try to heal whatever that means so but it's been really difficult because working was such a like a really integral part of like how things were expressed here and creatively and just um I have felt really lost without kind of that compass and then feeling the sense of what you hear about that

um you know that I'm supposed to find satisfaction and happiness from inside you know like it's not supposed to come from work or from other people or you know whatever like the sense of I'm so sorry kind just not getting the words out um what felt like sometimes in the past is that sort of like what's next what's next what's what's next yeah suffering that so then it was like okay well so became kind of black and white it's like oh well you can't find it there so then it's got to be so then the seeking starts it's so then it's here it's in waking up it's in spirituality it's in meditating whatever so anyway um but that's felt really terrifying because there is still this like human body that feels like it needs to survive in the world and isn't awake doesn't you know have the sense of um there's nothing to do or whatever doesn't feel that way it feels like there's stuff to do and a living to make and food to buy and so um anyway so there's been moments in the past few months where it's like total frustration you know with um feeling so terrible and afraid and like like I can't take care of myself and you know just like and frustration with not being able to um be happy going to work like being miserable at my job you know I'm just so frustrated anyway long story long so a couple job things have popped up and um I had a couple interviews this week for um an absolutely amazing job that's like and all these synchronicities and like things that have come out of the woodwork to like heal terrible things that happened around the last work situation and it's almost like this job would be like a doover of that whole thing but with like these beautiful people who like seem really like aligned with um so many things I don't even know how to describe it it's so crazy but the down or I mean it isn't a downside but the potential um stress and what's feeling me felt in the body is like it would take me across the country um to another state where I have lived before and have friends but um leaving my sons who live here uh my grandsons and kind of starting over again a place I've been before but um wow that's a big move it's huge yeah and um so I don't know I mean it the offer is likely to come this week I mean everything went really well and we've had lots of communication via email since then and um it's almost like I'm at this place where like I can't go back but I feel really afraid to go forward and to like take this leap but it also feels really right in a lot of different ways and um anyway I guess I bring it up here because it's so feels so connected to everything that I'm that's to the surface and um and asking in all these questions about like how this whole topic basically fits with feeling like a human you know and being a human in a or in a human body and um and even like tonight I was so last night I didn't sleep much and you know the mind's just going crazy and not all bad like a lot of it really good and creative ideas just pouring out you know which I haven't had and that's been really sad and you know shitty honestly um really like one of the most painful things about the past few years is that that part of me felt like it died that was creative and excited and and even in the interviews is like it's like I was Christine wasn't there it's like this just stuff just pouring out like

um yeah just like life expressing itself so and that's how it used to be with a lot of times around work that's how it felt being in so something is back yeah oh re reactivated exactly that's how it feels like it feels like life force coming back but it also feels really overwhelming because that hasn't been here and it's like it feels really scary um yeah I can understand that yeah because you get used to the default default frequency default way of being and then there is this other way of being and that being doesn't know that but this is familiar this is not something new it's actually more natural mhm mhm so he wants to come back here there is a little bit of fear oh oh what's going to happen there I don't know but let's take a leap and see and you know with your job if if you get the job I don't know if you got it yet is it the done deal I will find out this week yeah you'll find out this week if you need to be there you will be there and you will be effortless okay it will be effortless if you need to be there it's like you know there this figurine and it's just like yeah here you go that's it you're going to be there and everything gets arranged everything works out yeah so you can trust that okay what we need to say is just yes take me yeah take me take me use me the way I need to be used the way I can be used the way I can serve the best yeah and everything else takes care of

itself and of course it is difficult to be away from your family sure it's a big thing to consider but it also feels like it's kind of time because we it's like we need I needed to be close to them while I was kind going through this stuff and vice versa I think for them at this kind of stage after I split with their their father with their dad even as adults um but it also kind of feels like it's time for us to for me to like grow up spread my wings again and show them to really like show them like because that's who I used to be like this kind of like wind beneath everybody's wings and really like the like um just bubbling with ideas and creativity you know and like for our family and for you know and just excited for them and and for life and um so like really want them to see that again too you know Wonderful here is the chance I mean considering you're getting this job yeah I mean it seems very likely at this point but and again I don't even care like I mean I you know it it's just such a a validation of so many different things like I mean if it didn't work out and something else did that would be fine it's I don't even I'm not attached to this particular thing even though again it seems like it's really perfect and ideal but I it's just the way it kind of came all together and the way all the experiences around it have been have been really beautiful yeah well yes to that yeah yes to that yes let's just be with this for a little bit yes I yeah yes thank you thank you thank you yes yes yes welcome welcome

I love this little sentence that says God or  
universe give me what I need the most and I'm gratefully receiving it thank

you give me what I need the most and I'm gratefully receiving it gratefully receiving it thank you thank you yeah allowing or inviting that flow of fresh energy meeting your needs meeting your deepest desires that you don't even know yet yeah but it's opening that to the to the gifts opening to the unimagined to the magic mhm yeah that's what I feels like yeah even though it feels really so that part the piece is that don't feel that feel afraid I mean I I think kind of the way life used to operate was this there was kind of a fearlessness you know but it almost was a around some things obviously not everything but like this kind of going for things jumping into things and really like

um I know I guess I just wonder what's happening like with my system cuz the nervous system feels like what the hell you know like it's really it feels

um yeah I don't know like the body takes time to catch up for sure yeah and you had these years to heal so after it heals when it's almost healed or in the kind of final stages of healing you can start opening up to the new okay it takes time to catch up yeah for the body stuff you know we we may think that this physical is not included somehow it's all spiritual all mental or emotional but their physical is very much

included yeah that's been made very very clear and there is still that sense of um

I don't know it's just fear and even tonight like as I'm like I was on my yoga mat um

and I mean it's so odd because it's like when you really look to see like well who there isn't anybody who's afraid there's not a person there's not an entity there and yet there is all this energy and um

and sometimes that does help to kind of like slow it down just to really look and see you know that like what is it really cuz I mean here it gets just you know this swirl of of whatever

energy okay it's always good idea to just stop for a little bit for a few seconds to stop

literally to take a three deeper breaths it's all it takes to return to now to the

present and then tunning into the nervous system to help it to soothe itself self regulate yeah and what works you know different people work different things but you may try just to like it's okay it's okay you're good all is well thank you or like this like a butterfly doing one after another that kind of movement helps to

soothe yeah I did the same with the arm the other day where I was getting dressed and so it was just like this like bare hands on bare arms it was such a like it was weird it was like yeah like it like like someone else was doing it you know or something felt that sort of sense of someone hugging you or whatever and I I should remember that it does it does work physically of subtle that's weird and magical so it's finding your way how to regulate your nervous system there are so many ways like this vagus nerve you know have you heard of that like resetting the vagus nerve sometimes it's just simple movements of the eyes can do 
it or just shaking mhm we can experiment and find what's working for you but the first thing is to stop and to notice that shshshs so you know like we used they have radios where you tune tune tune and then there's and the clear signal so it's kind of coming back to that clear signal from all that noise the system is aaaaaa don't know what's happening taking a few deeper breaths just like let's see let's see what's now just this what's now

so how do you really see that how do you really see that it's just now like that it's just this and to not let thoughts go to the Future and the past okay let's let's show

you we haven't talked about the Mind screen no don't remember okay so let's go for a ride okay okay so let's start from this that you can be in the same room in the same situation sitting in on the same sofa and feeling like you are in heaven or in

Hell the reality is this it's just the same room so far Sensations colour sounds smells it's got nothing to do with Hell or Heaven mhm where is hell in heaven thoughts right so how does that happen what's going on right yeah one day I can be here like oh my God I'm so grateful this is wonderful this is the best there is and another day  like oh poor me look what happened how can I live yeah it's hell yeah right so now let's watch let's see what's happening I'm going to ask you a series of very simple questions and your job is to watch how the information comes to you in your experience precisely just watching that how it pops in where it pops in how do you see it how do you perceive it okay right so the first question give me a number from 5 to 77

 50 okay how did you perceive it what happened just popped in my mind uhuh did you see the number did you hear it do you felt it saw it huh saw it I think I mean not I didn't actually saw it my was a thought didn't obviously you didn't see the like 50 written some somewhere just a thought okay yeah yeah just checking how it works for you it's all correct okay okay uh next question again Watch how it pops in where it pops in okay if you can find the location where it pops in uh number from 111 to 222

yeah 222 is one that popped in okay how did that happen the same or was just a visual good

um I don't know that's weird actually can't even see it now really okay give me another number just from the same to the same 200 okay how did that pop

in same can you determine where is it like behind you in front of you inside the head around your legs where is it it feels inside the head inside the head okay okay now I'll give you a different question okay what is your favourite animal

 cat how did that information come in

I don't know just just popped in do you see a picture do you have a feeling do you have a just a thought come in just a thought um I mean it was a first course thought of my cat um oh did you see the picture of your cat yeah one of them

mhm can you look at that picture of your cat it's not it's clear it's so F I mean it's just like a little blip and then uhuh right tell me about your cat what is your cat like now watch how the information comes that's the main exercise tell me about your cat well I'm thinking of Angus who is a maine coon giant fluffy guy he's um big he's like 22 pounds um and so

sweet curious so do you get a picture of your cat in your mind or it's more just words do you have a picture

yeah there's like a picture of him in the background and then the

words in front almost somewhere here okay we're getting closer right now another question when you were a little girl did you have a bicycle mhm okay how did that information come in just rose not even arose just was there flash a flash okay um what color was

it I don't really remember just wait wait for

information I think it was

purple how can I not remember that but I don't remember specifically what colour it was do you remember riding
it how how did it feel to ride it

 I don't know they not really a feeling attached to it it's just transport I think yeah that's fine absolutely whatever it was it was yeah okay so what did you see a bike do you see your body little body little kid riding do you see the road what did you see in the picture if you saw any yeah a sidewalk um going from my house to my friend's house uhuh right very good so now where did that picture appear where in your space feels like it's uh yeah like in a screen or something inside the head uhhuh you're showing it here right maybe it's here have a look again yeah yeah so we found the Mind screen and the mind screen is where the mind is showing pictures some movie theater of the mind it's the projection right so we see the past here everything that we know is the past is on that mind

screen it's not like you are going into the past but that you're watching what's popping up on the screen with like tag of knowing that this is what

happened so let's ask you another question and watch now that Mind screen expecting it to be there and see what did you have for dinner last

night was last night um

I'm so tired what did I have for dinner last night uh today is Saturday that was Friday

and oh no now I remember Thai

food can you see the whole process of how the question from here it's like an itch and it needs to be scratched like what's going on what's going on then picture comes in right

yeah yeah it's still happening now in the moment in the

present right so it's popping up on the screen in the present moment you are still here you're still watching you're still being aware of the processes that are going on

experiencing the memory in a way that is showing up for you an image a feeling a sensation a thought you're not going anywhere you're

here right so all the past is The Flashes of images that come either by themselves or upon request

 so when it's sort of talked about that you know the past didn't really happen

um what does that mean so that's just saying that

like I don't know there's confusion with that it's like it feels like it happened but sure it

did but the way it is experienced is the picture on the Mind Screen 

mhm

right and the same thing with the Future Let's see in the future right so now tell me today is Sunday tomorrow for you do you have any plans for tomorrow what you gonna do tomorrow um go to

yoga see a

friend laundry stuff around the house how do you get that

information any images with them or thoughts

verbal yeah yeah I could you know picture picture this yoga the yoga studio and

um yeah my friend and then

yeah so I guess it was visuals of the sort of activity is it on the same screen or is a different screen for the future I think it was the same

yeah it's kind of yeah it feels like it's here in the front so if we can call this experience of Mind creating images dreaming okay that's dreaming and you can watch the dreams with eyes open and eyes closed right so what is being awake is being awake to the reality not watching the pictures hm

being present means your attention is on what is actually here rather than what the images are

showing it's as simple as that

being present is always on the attention is either on here or on the Mind screen

so what's seemed to be happening in recent times is this um dissatisfaction with the present moment you know like what's what is here and so then that story is playing on the screen like it's like there's you know seeing what's here but that's not even really true so it's like

yeah because the dissatisfaction is also generated you know whatever pops up or Rises yes so it's rather than being present to what is here there is attention on the judgments and on the movie about what is wrong with being here yeah yeah yeah that's the hell

that yeah so there what just came up around that was this sense of

um if I'm just okay with what the previous story says has had a judgment about not being okay then nothing will change or it won't that's so weird like who even cares like if you're if you're if you're like content then it doesn't matter but um

yeah I mean there's a story about that like that you know if if I'm not if I whatever who ever Christine isn't worried about fixing what's perceived to be wrong or changing life or that

um that won't happen but then who cares if it's if you don't if you don't feel that way anymore about it a very Twisted movie I know right it really is you can always give it five stars good good one thank you for creating this five stars right it's intense yeah yeah the reality is

silent there's no judgment there's no

comparison so just just out of curiosity can you just be here for maybe a minute without imagining anything knowing that there's this mind screen but it can just be blank see how that works in your experience just being being

here with these sounds that are 
here Sensations that are hear colors

wow it's crazy how fast it just pops right in with you

know but now you see the attention can be either here or watching the movie yeah and the movies can be so addictive totally yeah and because there's so much drama there it feels juicy it does it does it really does yeah I can see that clearly too the addiction to that um yeah because one one the objections can be like oh but being here being present is boring yeah right not enough and being bored is bad it's wrong I should be doing something anything in fact just not to be bored 
anything seriously that's a huge huge um stumbling block seemingly here because it's the doing has been so intense um yeah like on steroids uh um you know what's very interesting is that being bored is like a like a membrane feeling of being bored it's like a membrane that is pushing the attention back into the stories like okay attention is here in the stories on the Mind screen there's presence here there's openness here but as soon as the attention starts resting in just being it's hitting this membrane oh but it's boring back into the stories again it's like a final frontier

that once you look at it it becomes very interesting like what is this sensation of being bored uh like get curious about being bored what is that because it's keeping attention away from presence saying that the stories are way more juicier mhm

so this kind of like plunge back

into bigger Fuller life stuff again you know there's a fear about I mean I think a lot of the pain and suffering and trying to like again just be with things and sit with whatever the hell is coming up and in this really sad dark place has felt like oh well it's purposeful like you're you know this whatever I don't know something's unfolding

um and I don't want to run away from that you know and yet it doesn't matter it's so funny even to talk about it that way because it's like life is just going to do what it's going to do that feels really clear it's like even just the doing the interviews just like doing whatever having these conversations and things coming up it's like it's just happening in a way I mean there still feels like there's doing happening but so the fear is like I don't want to mess that up I don't want to like do something to screw up the possibility of like true Freedom or um does that make sense yes like yes but that is an old program okay yeah for sure all program and it can only have power if you give it or if you allowed it to take it

okay here is a little deeper look like how do we learn how do we learn at all what's the process of

learning let's say you want to to learn to play piano just simple right in the beginning your fingers are not working and you're practicing and you're hitting the the notes like this and then with practice you become better and better and better and better but how many times do you need to fail to become a master

so many times Master is the one that failed the most and wasn't afraid to fail failing is saying the old way is no longer working I've been doing this for so long doesn't matter it's no longer working I failed and thanks God that I know that because now I can try something different and when that works for a little bit after a while oh that no longer works either I failed

great I don't really want to go that I don't to do it that way because another word for failing is I learned something yeah yeah so it's impossible to learn something without failing recognizing that the old doesn't work anymore let's try something new so we want to learn but we don't want to fail right that's a conflict huge conflict yeah

yeah I mean because there is a sense of just

like well yeah like I said life just living expressing something here and that it's just

um yeah I mean there's fear of failure fear of of it's almost like it's not even fear of failure it's fear of falling apart not being a to function not be able to like

um yeah fear of It kind of being what it was before but also a sense that there's no other option like just happening and moving forward and you know whatever that looks like

um other thing that's happening is that there are people around me that are having shifts realization waking up whatever you want to call it and freakishly um it's like I meet somebody or like connect with someone meditation group or whatever and then all of a sudden like they don't know anything about anything and then all of a sudden they're having all this stuff um

or I don't know it's really it I mean it's kind of crazy the way it's that's happening so and then it feels like nothing's happening here even though I know that can't be true because you know whatever there's all this turmoil but I'm not finding I guess what it's not happening is I'm not seeing I'm not having what other people seem to be having which is this like peaceful stuff coming up and feeling all the things that people talk about you know so I know I know it's true and so it's impossible to not want that or compare and but it's also really bizarre because it's like I am kind of the at this I mean not me but you know like whatever it seems like the Catalyst or like a Lynch pin and something and it'd be one thing if was like one person but it's like I don't know eight nine people at this point in the past 6 months to a year and um and well to the point where I just like want to stop talking about it almost because it's so there was so much like conceptual stuff and then people as you know kind of go down this path and

then and for a while it was like really interesting you know it was like this like I'm so sorry I don't know I can't talk straight um

this sense of wanting to learn you know know all the things and um and then it got to the point where it's like no I don't want to know anymore it's enough like it's I'm done with all of that I don't need to know anything else about it if it's supposed to be experienced it will be and if it's not it's not so then these people kind of come around and then everybody wants to talk about it again and you know just small thing and um so in some ways this work thing connecting to that too just like oh it feels so good to just be like normal life things happening again and this other area and um other parts in being utilized or something I don't know um so I don't really know what to do with the feelings around all that or the thoughts around because there is that that sense of like you can't find true freedom without this realization and then the sense that there's something to do about that figure out practice whatever make happen and then also at the other and is this sense of like maybe it's time to just like live life again and yeah drop that yeah it's not like you can drop that yes I I know yeah but it's like an itch and a scratch you know if it's something itching it needs to be scratched to relax okay

okay so if the question is itching it's waiting to resolve yeah and the only thing they can resolve it is your own experience how you see it doesn't matter what other people do you or what what experiences they are going  through you have your own experience yeah you experiencing this human life as it's showing up and it's completely valid exactly as it should be okay there's nothing wrong with it

 yeah exactly right for

you and there is this tremendous power in us

it's nature nature is such a power you know we we given power to the images to the thoughts to the you know personality but there's no power there the power is in

nature and look at that if you if you let let's say drop a seed somewhere in between in the crack of a concrete just a little seed of grass what happens the grass the power is so strong that it breaks the concrete yeah you see that yeah that's the power of

nature yeah so let's take this little seed of truth that is dropped in into the old belief system that truth it's going to grow and break the concrete of the old beliefs there's no other way that's the power of nature

 and that's what operates this

yeah yeah it's so clear when I see it in other people I was with a friend today and I'm was just looking at her like it's

like amazing you know it's just a miracle it's like all these things just happening and then even you know and again like saying to her like how crazy to think is it to think that we have this control over things when it's like who's breathing who's you

know causing all these things to you know happen what's how is this even working it's so we take it for granted but it's just such a

miracle and all the billions of processes that have to be coordinated somehow in order for us to just walk down the street you know like it's not seems so simple but the good thing with nature it's all coordinated already there are clear Pathways there's nothing that needs to be manual like Cosmic lawa is just how the energy is Flowing yeah it's not like little me sitting in the head is going start to manually fix this Expressions life doesn't work like that there's no manual why does it seem that way it's so

irritating right but for that little me for that concept for that construct or that contraction it seems like letting go of this idea of control is the end of the world is death yeah

yeah it's like holding to the last
moment the more it holds the more It suffers yeah and letting go saying okay so be it let that Universal current that nature do what it's doing it's it's growing it's maturing it's flowering yeah it's bearing fruit that's nature can't stop it

 so be it whatever is coming so be

it I thought this week too of a tattoo I want to get which is you can't mess this up can't well that wasn't the mess wasn't the word but can't get it wrong or something like that because don't get that

tattoo you can't get it wrong with tattoos you can't get it wrong well yeah there is this sense that like if I don't figure it out and get it right something terrible is going to happen and it's like okay first of all who is the I
that can do that or get it right or wrong and then yeah like it's not doesn't work that way you know I used to be a tattoo artist I know I know I just remember that you don't do it anymore not for years but one of the funny tattoos that I ever did was a guy wanted to write on his wrist I'm going to regret

this at least he knew I don't have any so I feel like I got I gotta get that right I gotta pick the um no that's funny yeah but with the tattoos is different because you can mess it up big time and regret that yeah it's kind of ironic right right because it seems like it's a good idea at the time but you know depends on many things where you go what you

get yeah very different but it's always better to write something positive than something negative yeah I can't mess it up just it was just for the mind for the unconscious is saying I'm messing it up yeah

yeah and then one day you look at this oh my God I did mess up it says I can't but I did ouch

well I get that sense that like there isn't like it's just um you can write it with a marker for time being I want to like everything is perfect just as it is even though it doesn't feel like it and it feels really that's very true everything is perfect as it is yeah like it couldn't be any other way my friend was saying this tonight too because she's feeling all this regret and about stuff and like it when I look see it for someone else it's easy to see like it couldn't have been any other way like it all happened just the way it was supposed to and couldn't have been any different cause that's how it was and and so and that everybody you know that we're all doing the best we can at any given moment you know so you didn't know any better then you know it's okay and um well truly you did the best you could in that knowing in that situation that's it yeah it's funny how that's like can be so clear and open for others but yeah here it's not that doesn't really sunk in yet although it does feel like that's shifting it does feel like that's opening something there is some uh there is one one powerful thing that you can do with that and it's called

forgiveness forgiving 

yourself I guess you didn't know yeah can you forgive yourself for what happened can you forgive God for what happened it's just that forgiving like real sense of forgiving not I forgive myself right yeah where does that come from

Hm so you can play with that and just

see yeah because otherwise there is the other side of not forgiving is blaming shaming guilting all that stuff forgiveness saying no more of that I let that go I

forgive yeah there's definitely more seeing of kind of the Innocence of of all of everything

really seen that with my parents too especially recently you know that sense

of they didn't do anything either you know I mean they

didn't they only had what they had to give to like it was just what came through them mhm

thank you so much you're so very welcome so play with forgiving okay and soothing yeah and don't worry fear is only saying you're going somewhere where you don't know what will be but at the same time it's kind of exciting totally yeah right even just like having that sort of yeah like I was saying just like Life Energy feeling that again was yeah really Incredible Cool overwhelming but yeah thank you so much Ilona
you're very welcome I really I mean this is just so helpful I mean you're it's funny too because like you know I've done a lot of therapy over the years this is really different it's just a really beautiful um I don't know it's just so helpful I really appreciate it thank you and I'll see you next week okay have fun love bye bye


This episode is a recording of the third session with Christine. in the beginning she shared her current situation and challenges and later I guided her through the exercise of looking at how the mind works and finding out where and how the images show up. you are welcome to explore together with Christine and find in your own experience where the mind screen is.