Explore how neutral situations can transform into problems — and how to prevent this process

When and how a neutral situation become a problem? What is the exact process and how to stop creating problems with no solutions? This is a big question and this video invites you to explore how it works. 

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Transcript

Welcome to the show! This is episode 85 How a Situation Becomes a Problem (and how to fix that)

My name is Ilona Ciunaite. I am a guide, an author, and a co-creator of the Liberation Unleashed community. If you are interested in all things awakening, this podcast is for you. Over the past 13 years, I’ve been guiding and supporting seekers on their journeys to discover inner peace and freedom.

In this podcast, I dive deep into the heart of awakening. Together with my guests, we explore the pivotal moments that spark transformation, what life looks like before and after the shift, and how to navigate the challenges and beauty of living an awakened life. 
When and how a neutral situation becomes a problem? What is the exact process and how to stop creating problems with no solutions? This is a big question and this video invites you to explore how it works. 
This video is a recording of the Deep Looking meeting. You are welcome to participate in the next one, the details are in the description.

when you're sitting quietly silently thinking about this it's all good but when we go back to our day-to-day work it could be office or like any situation that we face at Family it all evaporates

and becomes like a self again like a solid self

again is there any anchor that we can hold on to to come back to

this it's an interesting question of many layers let's say like this you decide to relax and you run a bath and you lay down in a bath and this is one hour for you and you don't need to think about anything just relax enjoy do nothing

while you're in that bath you don't think about like how many dishes there to wash or what's going to happen next week at work or then know it's time to relax so while you are here with the group and with me this is time to rest deeper because of the environment is supporting that that's your like a bath time off and it feels so good because there are many people here and the energies multiply and it's super supportive so you can just enjoy while it lasts and when you go and do your daily life there are different situations that piece is still here it's always here here in the group you can access it easier but even in like intense situations at work that piece is here just is not noticed the one question I find that is very helpful to notice is like what is here right

now and it may be difficult for the mind because he wants to go everywhere past future what if oh what is here right now like bringing attention to right now because that piece is here right now it's not somewhere or anywhere else so that question can help the mind to focus on what's in front of

you what if the thing that is in front of me right now is not uncomfortable or I think that is where the problem is appearing right now everything in front of me right now is very comfortable very soothing and I really enjoy that but what is the moment that the day presence is very uncomfortable and I don't want to face that that is when like the mind is starting projecting oh no they should not be happening like it's unfortunate then it comes with all the theor saying that you are the only one facing all of these like this should not be happening to you you don't deserve this the world is not treating you well all of those comes when and uncomfortable situation comes yeah yeah what's wrong with uncomfortable situation

the pie is here with comfortable and uncomfortable situations the mind says no I want only want comfortable situations but what's wrong with uncomfortable situation it feels

uncomfortable what's wrong with feeling

uncomfortable some pleasant right unpleasant fear it comes with a lot of fear of the uncomfortable situations mind project something that can happen bad in the future it's not only uncomfortable right now but things will happen bad in the future as well well so it comes with not only the right now uncomfortable moment but also comes with tremendous amount of fear MH um that makes it not bearable like okay this is not bearable and if this is not bearable something that is going to happen in future is going to be like more unbearable how are you going to be prepared for that like at that moment it feels like the world is collapsed right it's all done like you're done it's unbearable yeah give it up yeah yeah what a lie isn't

it yes yes yeah why are we even listening to that voice

inside that's definitely a lie because I was in a very uncomfortable situation last week and like the Mind projected it's not uncomfortable now it's very bad it's very peaceful I have no problem right now but at that moment couple of moments last week I thought like oh the world is going to end it's not going to be Parable for me but now today morning I'm thinking back to the situation it's not anything bad happened to me right now I'm still here sitting here I'm still alive um yeah

I believe that something can happen if I feel something

intensely that belief needs to be questioned because in the whole life how many times we felt really deeply intensely uncomfortable horrible terrible scary angry hateful all that kind of horrible stuff we are still here nothing happened

many like 99 percentage of the time it is like that it looks the future is collapsed and there is no future at all that moment happened like many times but in reality it happened like very few times yes well the future is not there that's [Laughter] trueth the mind will imagine the future and say oh this is should be like this but that's just an imagination the future is not there but what is here right now is see

now what do you mean by future is not there Alona can you a little bit talk about that what do you mean by there is no future well the future is just imagination of the mind we can think of possibilities probabilities what if maybe I hope I want but it didn't happen it's not here many things can change there are so many variables that you can never know what will happen can guess hope project be scared of but until it happens doesn't happen and until it happens that what is happening is here now so where is the future she has an

idea simple right I'm sure I showed you the light before but now it's look now do you know if I flip this the fire will come up or not do you know this is a light I'm going to flip it yeah do you know if the light will if the fire will come up or not I can guess I can if you system that lighter is working probably most likely the fire will come I don't know it's an old lighter I picked it up from some drawer I I don't even know if it's going to work let's see yeah oh it works look at that now I can say I know there was a future and it will work but I cannot be 100% sure nobody knows the future

there's a

guess do you think somebody knows the

future Sun is going to come tomorrow morning anyways I know that for sure okay

what if it's

cloudy oh I mean that they will be day and night yeah sure that's it that's the laws of

nature so this is how the mind confirms Ilona so if I take a hypothetical situation I'm sleeping now with the problem in my mind and if I try to convince myself saying that fine there is no future just relax for now and sleep the problem is not going to go away right tomorrow morning sun is going to come up and it's going to be 9:00 I have to go to work I have to face the problem right the problem is basically I'm postponing the problem by convincing myself saying that like okay relax for Now Jasmine and we can see the problem tomorrow but like tomorrow tomorrow the problem is waiting for me right whether the electricity out in the house or like the dog has issues on whatever the problem that I left today night it's going to wait for me tomorrow morning I cannot escape from that I have to face it but when you are laying in the bed there is no problem in reality there is no problem the problem is in the mind because mind creates the problem in order to resolve it so you can be laying down and just enjoying laying down or your mind can be going into the future creating the possible possible scenarios of what if this happens and that happens and that happens and twist itself into a pretzel and feel very painful yes but there is no problem until the problem is made in the Mind by the Mind

itself like if if you really look at what what is a problem what Define a problem what is a problem like what kind of animal is this problem

thing it's combination of mental images of what can go wrong tomorrow like lot of images and a why saying that the all the possible combinations like yeah okay very good but when the day comes progresses you go into work and last night you imagine how it will be does it does it come up the same or is it like something different it doesn't come up in the way that I have not projected many of the times it happens in a way that sometimes it happens the way that I projected and many of the times it happens in a totally unexpected way yeah so the Mind cannot know all the variables and all the different uh conditions and circumstances what will happen at best I can guess be convinced that this is the truth and that's the

problem that's right it projects based on what it learned in the previous previous weeks and previous years is it tries to project that what could be the solution of the problem tomorrow uh but it creates a lot of anxiety because you face these options and you were uncomfortable with those options last time so you will be uncomfortable tomorrow too MH sometimes it happens bad and many of the times it doesn't happen that way yes yes so it's not a question of how to resolve a problem the question is how not to label a situation as a problem once it's labeled a problem that's it like you've been had you are in the cage of a problem and you have to solve it but the situation oh we have many situations and many many challenging situations and here's the situation why is that situation a problem like what makes it into a problem

I think I'm missing something I I I think I'm not getting something here so the Mind automatically projects something has a problem and gives me like couple of options to solve the problem and I don't think I have a option in any of these conversation that mind is having by itself it says okay situ this is a problem and you have these Solutions right and I have no say on that Alon it all happens automatically but why is a situation a

problem okay I I know what you mean why cannot be a neutral situation that needs a solution and what is the solution why is it why is it a problem because the problem is already something to solve and it's already fear of the past being repeated in the future but if I have a fresh mind if I'm calm if I'm not panicking and worrying about what happened in the past and just situation as it's arising just being present it it's not a problem none of it is a problem unless it's labeled so and that labeling itself is already calling for Solutions and that's never ending Loop of uh don't know what to

do because I think I I'm calling that the situation as a problem because I want that situation to go in the way that I want and I don't want to take any other outcomes I want exactly the outcome number one and I'm not ready for compromising outcome number two and three I think that's where mind is calling it as a problem probably right very well very well said yeah the problem is an attachment to the outcome yes and especially not wanting the outcome to be like it was in the past yes

yeah it's a little shift like okay what if nothing is a problem it's just situation that needs an

outcome so then I can lay down today and not think about what will be tomorrow because I don't know what will be tomorrow something will happen sure good bad all of it but then I can look at this situation without naming the problem and find the outcome

in the

moment so the situation here is not finding solutions to the problem but how to stop the situations from becoming a problem in the first place

so let's acknowledge that mind is working very hard he wants to serve he wants to help it's here to keep you safe that's most Minds take the security guys profession and they want to keep you safe so they're just doing their job saying oh remember how it was in the past this can happen in the future you don't want this I'm just keeping you safe from feeling bad from feeling uncomfortable but the reality is life is full of moments of wonderful moments and of horrible

moments of pleasure and pain it's not just pleasure I never met anyone whose life was just pleasure my life is not just pleasure

so there is pain there is uncomfortableness and there is resistance Rising naturally to uncomfortableness it's wanting pleasure avoiding pain that's how the system is set

up so we can't expect that every moment in life is going to be Blissful happy Rosy wonderful peaceful and ah sweet we can't expect that and we can know that in the future everything will happen the Good Bad and the

Ugly so we can meet that as it comes rather than making that into a problem it's not a problem that's how life is

this this little thing has very limited view of what life

is it's not very good thing to drive life yes but it can be open and curious and notice what is that drives like how does it work

really to speci Ability I me thank you Lana very helpful you're very

welcome hello hello yeah um I'm really curious to explore okay wonderful so as you just described I will U yeah I will tell what is the situation um yeah let's not call it a problem um so U I have uh like intentions in me of U I'm doing activity like um uh Consulting people uh and um I'm currently only studying psychology but uh to me the spiritual let's say attitude or world view and experience maybe first of all is looks like more important and still I feel I can see some fear some willingness to postpone it and my um my career consultant asked me just to write a description what I am and what I want to do and then maybe to send it to to people and just to invite them to share the message and maybe to to start this new thing um at at the same time I I experience how um scary uh somehow it is I have doubts I have uh uh I have fear that it won't succeed I have ideas that oh am I really up to it and so on so this is the situation actually uh a mixed situation mixed uh feelings some some part willing to go and explore and to challenge myself and uh and the other part which which is saying hey hey hey hey calm down what are you going to do so that's maybe the situation if if to call it that way um yeah so I wanted to share what is alive in me wow at the moment exciting times

huh yeah yeah exciting times h yeah none of this is a problem really is

it maybe not yeah maybe it just feels intense

good yeah exactly it's an intense feeling that it's like uh I have um to find energy to go to go through something like and to go yeah to act to act yeah yeah so imagine there are two forces one is pushing one is pulling one wants to change one wants to go into some new adventures but the other one says oh it's okay as it is now let's stay here

put right because what if it changes so much that I lose control if I don't know what's going to happen no we don't want that want to be comfortable same old familiar don't do

anything yes it is familiar and comfortable yeah yeah without going anywhere exactly somewhat yes and at the same time of course I can grasp a little bit that it is also uncomfortable because I have this some inner inner like um in ttention let's say or inner power which is which is uh uh motivating me uh which and also creating a discomfort to stay yeah yeah so the tension is between two parts the one that wants the new and the one that wants the

old and we can welcome and allow both of them like yeah I see this mechanism that's how it works

H in in a sense that there is space for both of them yeah

yeah yeah if you packed your bags and you're going to a different country for a new adventure you don't know what will happen yes and it will be fear that's

normal noral

yeah usually usually in when I travel I in this world I usually don't experience much fear I you usually enjoy traveling traveling yeah but in this travel yeah I do

experience yeah and this idea of what if I will fail of course you will fail a thousand times you will fail maybe 5,000 but that's how you become a master right by

failing

exactly Master somebody that failed the

most I wasn't afraid I wasn't stopped wow by failure

right wow yes so yes the failing yes that means I'm

learning well that sounds quite inviting yeah yeah because in you know when you take something new this fear of failure is a problem it's called a problem this can be stopping or freezing terrifying fear of failure but that's how we learn this is exactly how we learn when we what is failure is recognizing that something old is no longer working let's try something

new something isn't just working yeah now I know to try differently to do something differently if that doesn't work I'll try something differently and when that doesn't work anymore I'll try something differently so we kind of flow with it not making it into a problem or into something

scary and that part that doesn't want change will always feel a little bit of fear will always feel yes I mean if it's worth doing something you're gonna feel afraid to do it it's big it's bigger than you

but um as I learned through our practice that I should uh I should I it's worth uh to invite it and to accept it as it is yeah with allowance to be and maybe communicate with it what's what's what's uh what does it want really well he wants to keep you safe he wants security he wants guarantees he wants certainty wants to be about to want all

that yeah which is yeah which is okay uh I feel like it's also important to like you always ask here in the sessions is it safe I mean does it somehow um threaten your life at the moment and so on and it's very important to be able to answer yes in general it's safe safe to feel different things different feelings so the safety is is is also yeah important and at the moment I feel like but too much safety is a little bit uh um could be could be uh reducing the the the energy the excitement and the yeah exploration yeah and you know what you'll never be ready how about

that oh never no but you still do what you want to do right

W like today is an evening already but let's say tomorrow okay talk to somebody guide them or give them some session or something are you ready for that no not still do because you'll never be ready oh today is the day I'm going to do

o so yeah I have my steps so I I know that at least what we agreed with this career consultant that I'll shortly write down what I'm up to and what I want to do and then there will be a next step to send this message to people which I guess might might know anyone or or themselves might want to uh get some help or inspiration and yeah yeah I don't know how it will be for sure but I'm yeah I I can um recognize that part which is willing to explore with all the fear yeah wonderful so that fear can hang around can be there it's acknowledged it's not in a way of what you want to do h

it's it's just

is but not in the way oh that's a that's a great way it's here okay acknowledging feel scary but I'm GNA

jump I'm going to jump while feeling scary yeah scar yeah yeah like a bunge jumping or Parish sh or just even in a swimming pool just jumping scary but I'm still going to jump

H well yeah it sounds like a very welcoming attitude to this to the fear or I don't know how to call yeah very friendly and yeah cozy space for for it to be and still do the things which cause it

yeah see that the fear or tension is here for evolution it supports the evolution look at this as you see there are two forces one wants to change another one wants to stay here there is a tension tension right at some point that tension wants to resolve and either you go or you

stay and then what which is scarier can look at that which is car to jump to go forwards with what you want or to stay here on your sofa and do nothing for another 20 years what's

scary yeah it happens so in in in this life unfolding that uh I get support and um encouragement and it makes yeah it makes like more scarier a little bit more scarier to

stay and a little less scary to

go yeah this is the moment this is the moment and you know what it's already happening you're you're already on your path it's just unfold holding in front of

you the best thing is to say yes yes yes yes thank you thank

you yes I'm going where you need me to

go yeah yeah it sounds really strong like yes I'm going the way you need me to go the direction

yeah yeah and one one of the things that um support this sentence for me is yeah because I get the support to go I get it um like the fuel for the rocket to launch you know Wonderful because it's happening yeah yeah and like we said before we don't know what will happen in the future no but that's kind of

exciting like you don't want to go to a movie where you know when somebody told you how it will be you want experienc it first hand see oh yeah what races yeah

explore there's some yeah some some yeah also energy in this exploration that you don't know how it will be and there is some eagerness to see or to

explore wow and yeah a little bit I can grasp a feeling of like uh yeah like I don't know why but like a child being in the sandbox and just you know building something and not knowing how it will hold but yet just trying to create some some Castle or a pyramid yeah

yeah and I can feel excitement

[Music]

Y and yet you can still have a vision of the future where you want to go it's wonderful to have a vision like Direction where you want to go what you want to do it's like a a big mountain somewhere far far away you see it but with each step that you're taking now it's getting

[Music] closer you don't need to know how you will get there you just need to take this step properly which you can see

yes and then it's not scary because you can take the step can send an email or whatever your form you fill in no big deal it's not a

problem yeah and interestingly I I yeah I do have a vision uh and yeah it came one few years ago yeah it was interesting that it came and yeah and it's also as you said it's okay to have a vision like a direction not a how to say uh not a attachment to the outcome but like like a direction idea because because in your previous convers conversation you said that yeah that that's the problem when you have it's like you attached to the outcome how it has to be M then then you're trying to control the world instead of live live life I don't know or

thank you thank you

okay for some some new explor exploration who wants who would like to share the gifts [Music] everyone Ela if nobody's asking I probably um we can explore a little bit about um the no self thing uh okay um talking with you uh over the months I kind of now know what do you mean by no self

but still I can see the difference between me and the other people like that I am talking with Theona right now and she's not me she's a different person and I see Lara on the screen and she's different from me right so so to me it feels like okay so I'm just I'm I trying to force myself to believe that okay that is no me and but there are other people there are always going to be other people right there are always going to be other people in front of my eyes and who is talking to me yeah it's like seeing the form and seeing the essence and let's look at that what is a form and what is an

Essence

um okay yeah what is this it's a ring it's a ring now it's gold this is a piece of gold the form and shape of a ring

M right God little one came so what we see first is the form there's a name for the form but the essence is what it's made of is a

gold can you see both gold and the

ring yes yes it's not difficult it's natural we see the essence and we'll see the form and the form has a

name but the gold can be made into many different things many different objects how it's a rain if I kind of flatten it out or put in some furnace it's going to be a blob it will still be gold right yes so if I have if I keep the gold but I give you the r braing what do you

have I have both gold you don't have anything and ring if I keep the gold but give you the ring it's nothing you can't do that it's a name it's just a name for the

shape okay yeah right now yes

oh hear

this baby go play with your sister right so what are humans made of what is the essence of

human Ah that's a good question what is the essence of every living living thing

I can tell that I can say all I know from my experience what am I made of my Essence um only that I have I can explore and um that again it's so weird to say that I don't know what is my Essence I don't

know yeah it's kind of words fall flat here but let's just call it life or liveness let's call it life for the Simplicity life everything is

life so now you can see humans and you can see life so the essence is the same look every human breathes every human is feeling and thinking and feeling

pain but we see the form we give it a name and we think that's it that's it that's what it

is so then there is me there is you there's everyone else there are people yes there are we can see the forms we know the names but it's all

Li and the Farms are also interacting with each other right right they are not like Farm if the Farms are quiet then there is no problem but the Farms are also speaking yeah oh yeah birds are chirping and cats are mowing

and trees are growing when this Stone so

light like somehow in the mind mind this became separate from life or from nature it's like oh nature is out there the laws of nature work for natural world but not for here I'm separate from nature that's the problem it's not that I'm separate from you from other bodies it will never be you know one body cuz bodies are

unique but somehow this confusion and misunderstanding that I'm separate from nature from Life yes that's weird but that's how yeah that's how the mind confuses I'm not separate from anything but it makes me creates a illusion that this particular form is separate from everything but while I'm breathing the air is coming into my body and going out um my body again I I don't even know like when I what can I say like a my body

right do the tree says oh it's my

trunk see how we put labels how they it's quick to put names and labels on things and we look at the tree okay here's the trunk The Roots the branches the leaves right they're separate parts you can say yes the leaf is not the root of course when you look at the parts and you can say they're separate but that leaf is here because of roots and the roots are here because of minerals in the earth and the water and the Sun and the wind and Rin and

everything Al so you mean to say that like everything is like one single thing and ah I see what you mean

okay I love this mushroom metaphor did I tell you that before about the mushrooms in the

forest so it's like you go in in a forest and you can see low mushroom here low mushroom there and you pick them put them in the basket tasty right but then you you think that this mushroom is this little thing and you miss the whole point that the mushroom is just like a flowering of melium or the mushroom is underneath the whole Forest we don't see it but it's connected to every tree to every grass it's it's a net of communication it's like internet for the forest like it gives information which tree needs to move a little bit to let the other tree to come up to the Sun but what we see as a mushrooms that low thing and we get confused we don't acknowledge the the

myum so this little mushroom is separate from that little mushroom but come on it's the same thing flowering it's the same thing it's coming up with all these little tiny things that we give name on a for here it is it's separate it's separate from the forest look at

this wow something really really clicked me right now

ala oh my God I heard this many times this is not the first time I'm hearing from you but like really something clicked now right so this little mushroom is talking but where did where do the words come

from I don't know just

coming it's alive that alive that aliveness is the essence

W this is

amazing hello so when you talk about form and Essence M form I can EXP erience an Essence I don't experience all right but how they realize I'm the essence are you alive yeah that's

it you know it's not an experience is knowing and you know that you know you know that you're alive yeah I know that I know but I don't wa I don't trust that

know I think right because you think that it may be some kind of experience but it's not an

experience it's a space in Which experiences

happen and that space is knowing or awareness

it has got no qualities no colors no sounds No thoughts no

emotions it's pure

knowing so let me ask you again do you know that you

are yes that's this

[Music]

it's so wild today I see everywhere something

I think it's difficult to drop that I think it's an

experience yeah but well I don't know but I hear you say it's not an experience

like you are not experiencing it you are it yeah you know it by being you know it by

knowing but I don't I don't know that I know you don't know that you're alive

yes good so otherwise it's like what's going on here and that aliveness is in every human and every animal and every plant and every

microorganism that's same aliveness

so that would be what creates everything or make things

happen it's what shows up as everything

yes that's not a thing no

so yes we can see both the form and the

essence and just for the fun of it let's use word God I know it's a Charged word and it can have different feelings about it but let's use word God because God is everything everywhere at the same time it's

omnipresent so if everything is God and Only God and there is nothing but God can anything be separate no that I I'm okay nothing sep I'm not separate right so where is that God in you that's the question where is the god in

you because this cannot be separate from

God is what I made of

the

Ence and forms change right forms change body change mind changes motions change colors sounds change everything is in motion there's something that doesn't change

what is that what doesn't

change oh

God and how does that translate to your experience what is in your experience that doesn't change

I don't

know okay can use the word awareness or knowing

being arm

beingless like the form is in the way of

it's not it's not in a way it's what Essence showing up

as what you are saying now that the waves are in the way of ocean but the waves is what ocean is showing as

yeah like thoughts are in the way of being no it's thought are how being is showing it in

theal again then words I can only point that that recognition is a little bit deeper than words

yeah I think words mix it up for

me but the words are not in a way of life no it is life go back to life

simple oh

with thank

you hey hi Lona hi Brian hi um so I've been processing the different conversations about problems uh been really great uh great points brought up and I think one continuing sticking point for me is

that well in one of the conversations there was a choice between the possibility making a mistake and security and like it's just that kind of binary you can do this one thing that's exciting and yeah you might fail but um there's that's more exciting and there's other one that's more comfortable and there's this kind of

air of it or air around it that's like okay but that's not the thing that you really that really excites you and engages you so that's not probably the way to go right and that's doesn't seem to be how life shows up for me um there's a bunch of choices that I can think of right now and none of them are particularly comfortable none of them seem like oh yeah that's you know that's going to lead to growth whereas this one's stagnant and I'm comfortable able and I'm just doing that just to feel more safe right it's there's a lot more ambiguity in the choices um I think an example is you know this was several weeks ago but like I was going to give a presentation at work and you know the nights before thinking okay I'm feeling anxiety about that you know it's not something that I I I thrive into doing right um or I feel great about doing um and there's choices right um in this work that you know we all kind of do here okay that's interesting that that's coming up in me there's exploration to do there but then there's also the choice of well with this time that I have I could be preparing for the presentation right and um it's not clear how to spend this time that I have right should I be you know and I know I'm saying like should like I don't I don't know if there is a should you know one way or the other to do it either way is probably okay but like there underneath all of that is this uncertainty of should I be paying attention to my emotions like what am I looking for to stop doing that in order to actually you know do the Practical steps to prepare for the um presentation and even along with that it's like okay this is nighttime this is not my work time you know should I just be trying to drop the whole thing and pay attention like with my family or just you know like you said before take a bath or whatever taking a shower and just and just try to drop every all of it right so that's I guess kind of a Perpetual I guess uh sticking point for me with you know quote unquote problems or situations there's no you know Clear Choice of um this is exciting this is going to lead to growth this is the the right thing to do quote unquote

right okay but there is always the right thing to do the question is do you recognize it or not this mind can go into discussions about it and um dismiss it but you know what is right thing to

do to some agree you know sometimes maybe it's obvious sometimes it's not but the right thing you know and it may not be the most exciting thing you know if you don't like the to give presentations is not your happy time then but you still know the right thing to do you know that you need to prepare right correct no I mean not really you don't need to prepare no and I mean I didn't I was that was something I tried last few weeks ago I was like I I I didn't I was like I know what I did you know the presentation is about some work I did and I uh um I mean there is some level of preparation right but I I don't know how much is the right thing so I put something together kind of quickly right and um then just at some point said okay that's all I'm going to do right that you feel what's the right thing to do at some point you stop and you know that's

it and there was consequence to that right like I I felt when I was done with the presentation I did not feel like I did as well as I should have right or I could have I didn't get the point across as well as I as I could have if I would have prepared more so in a sense that was I mean I didn't like lose my job or nobody even talked to me about it afterward right it wasn't there wasn't like any like big negative consequence but the there was like an opportunity cost right of if I would have prepared more then I that could have gone better and maybe I would have gotten you know good feedback or something good would have come of it rather than just it me kind of feeling like it fell flat right okay but so there was a level of preparation I did and there was kind of you know I could have expected those consequences for it exactly but now you know you kind of learned learned your lesson isn't it you can call it a failure and cry about it or you can say all right well this worked out like this next time I'll prepare more MH but it's done it's not something that can be different right it's just informing for next time right right you did the best you could in with what you had mhm

and that the time of preparation it felt right so if something else was feeling right you would do that but it felt right that's enough that that will do that's it that's as much as energy and focus I want to give this that's right yeah I mean I will say that I what I didn't think it felt right it was the amount that I did right I

I there was nothing in my experience that was like okay that's all I'm going to do you know final right it was just other things happened right and I struggled with should I prepare more well I don't really have the time okay you know I I guess that's what's going to happen right and even that kind of felt like I wasn't sure if that was the right thing to do or if I was just trying to avoid it right avoid thinking about the presentation and

everything and in that situation you could see what's going on through the

mind so it's not really about presentation it's about learning

like the situation the outcome what do you learn from

that as I said nothing but hurt everything's fine but that Miss opportunity is only idea about something that didn't happen it couldn't have happen with these conditions

and that's that

really yeah that makes sense

um I guess it seems like it's still I'm still um waiting for this to sink in in a way where when I'm in that Heat of the Moment where the presentation's coming up or whatever that it

seems okay just to let whatever happen is going to I mean I don't

know that statement of like you know whatever is going to happen is going to happen seems like it's short circuiting something that it's short circuiting exploration right of what's really going on here um or like what what do I really have leverage on at this

time okay imagine you on a train and the train is under the rails and it's just going where it's going from point A to point B it's a straight line now you are not trained look through the window and think think oh I wish the strain would go left but then you look at the right oh now now I want to go right or what if I go left and then right and then up and then down can you know imagine things have your Tripp in the head but the train is just going where it's

going meaning that whatever conditions come together things happen and nothing can be anything

different how do you know that it's here can imagine how it could be how it should be how it could have been but that's all just daydreaming about stuff that didn't

happen so the only thing that can be right here now is that which is here right now cannot be anything else cannot be having a bath now or spending time with family because you're here that's your confirmation that you are in the right

place the right place is

here so there is one thing what is happening and another thing is how the mind interprets it or what it What Dreams it weaves around this

situation so it's in a way an invitation to just sit on that train relax and see what happens do the best you can in a moment as you already do nothing changes there you ready do you always do the best you can with what you have

and everything else in the mind is a

Daydream that's why you can be relax today about the uh presentation because you're not working on it now don't need to think about it now now you're here who focuses on this and when the time comes to do the presentation then full focuses on that and then something else comes in and then full focuses on

that because it's a lot of energy going what if what could have happened that's a lot of energy is being wasted on stuff that is not happening

right okay thank you I hope this makes sense I I think it's a long road of It kind of fighting against it and then kind of uh you you know F figuring out the Contours the edges of of

um um what it means to sit on the train right like you were saying there CU often there are just wh ifs going on and it feels like they're very distracting and even if I'm doing something you know inspired by like deep deep looking those kind of things it it feels like something else I'm mentally trying to do to control the

situation right I want to feel better about the situation right I want tomorrow when I'm in the presentation no matter what happens I want to feel okay about it

right and that uh programming I guess is just very hard to find the off switch for it why not to leave it as it is just noticing it it's okay

to okay if I think I know how life should work then I will try to control it and I of course will burn my fingers but if I don't know how life works I'm open I'm open to the

magic what if nothing is the way it

seems and if I don't need to control life and I don't need to fix life then I can just watch what's showing

up be curious about

it it's kind of more Joyful Way To Live we you're still here I mean life is going on every day is closer to the end of this life but we can spend it trying to fix life or enjoying life

okay thank you the next thing that's showing up for me is my son is making strange noises in the other room so I'm G to go check on him wait see you know what's

right thank you everyone

thank you Ilona very much see you soon the next meeting thank you by