Shocking Truth: You May Not Exist as You Think

Shocking Truth: You May Not Exist as You Think – In this eye‐opening video, we’ll dive deep into the powerful concept of ego dissolution and the illusion of the separate self. Have you ever paused to question your own identity? Are you really who—or what—you think you are? Through guided self‐inquiry, we’ll unravel the layers of thought, emotion, and conditioning that build up the image of “you,” revealing a vast spiritual awakening waiting just beneath the surface.

Our journey takes us through profound nondual awareness techniques drawn from Advaita Vedanta, Zen Buddhism, and modern mindfulness practices. You’ll discover how the “I” you’ve been protecting may be no more substantial than a passing thought. This realization can bring lasting inner peace, clarity, and a newfound sense of freedom in day‐to‐day life. Whether you’re searching for spiritual enlightenment, curious about consciousness, or simply seeking relief from overthinking and stress, this video offers insights that could transform your perspective.

What You’ll Learn in This Video:

 • Why the “self” may be an illusion and how this affects every aspect of your life.
 • How to use awareness practices and self‐inquiry to see beyond thoughts, beliefs, and identities.
 • The key differences between ego chatter and true presence that lead to inner peace.
 • Simple steps to connect with the stillness and openness always present in your everyday experience.

Subscribe for more content on mindfulness, nondual awakening, and deep inner transformation. If you find this video valuable, please like, share, and comment. Your support helps us reach more seekers of truth and contributes to our growing spiritual community.

#awakeningnow #ilonaciunaite #selfinquiryquestions #liberationunleashed #seeingthroughselfillusion #howtodoselfinquiry
#NondualAwareness #IllusionOfSelf #EgoDissolution #SpiritualAwakening #Mindfulness #Meditation #Advaita #Consciousness #innerpeace 

Uncover the Shocking Truth behind who you really are—and who you aren’t. When you question the illusion of a separate self, you open the door to limitless freedom and the peace you’ve been longing for. Let’s begin.

Music by Valdi Sabev, Visit his channel for more calm and relaxed music 
https://www.youtube.com/c/ValdiSabev/featured

Websites
http://ilonaciunaite.com
http://liberationunleashed.com

Transcript

Welcome to the show! This is episode 92 Shocking Truth: You May Not Exist As You Think

My name is Ilona Ciunaite. I am a guide, an author, and a co-creator of the Liberation Unleashed community. If you are interested in all things awakening, this podcast is for you. Over the past 13 years, I’ve been guiding and supporting seekers on their journeys to discover inner peace and freedom.

In this podcast, I dive deep into the heart of awakening. Together with my guests, we explore the pivotal moments that spark transformation, what life looks like before and after the shift, and how to navigate the challenges and beauty of living an awakened life.
why is it so difficult to do the self inquiry and keep asking this question who am I it's it seems like the answer is evading you everyone else knows that everyone else got it but for you it's still something unreachable and you may have spent years trying studying inquiring healing going from a teacher to another teacher and here you landed on this video and you know what if you stay with me till the end you may finally get your answer because the answer is always here i'm not going to give you some vague ideas about your answer or more concepts i'm just going to help you to remove what you think and imagine this answer should be like and what it really means this conversation is a recording of a meeting where I'm guiding somebody live uh somebody in the same place as you having asked this question many times and still not getting the answer when you hear my question you can pause and answer it for yourself for yourself before continuing that way you will get the most out of this video so stay till the end and maybe this time you'll get what you are looking for imagine you have a fan there's a fan uh you know the fan that is just blowing air and when it's switched off you can clearly see one two three four five maybe blades and they are still they're just there standing but as soon as you press the button and it gets electricity the fan starts spinning so we say the blade starts spinning um we no longer see the blade we see some kind of vague shaking and moving disc it's not really there the disc is not there but it appears as if there is something there like a round disc maybe semi-transparent so it's not exactly like a disc but it appears as a disc what happens when we unplug the electricity and we switch off the fan for a short while it's still spinning slowly slowly slowly slower and then it stops and then here are the blades

again that's it there was never any disc the appearance of a disc was there but the disc wasn't there so what happens with this self illusion is the same what are the blades the blades are our perceptions perception channels like seeing hearing tasting smelling touching thinking imagining feeling it's all here but when it's going so fast everything's happening so fast then it appears as if there is a me that disc there's an appearance of me which is not really there and it's not something tangible or something can be really seen and says oh this is what it is no it's an appearance so how to unplug from that illusion from that believing that there is this me a separate self to which life is happening h we can just start analyzing and looking at each individual blade meaning each perception channel and seeing if that me is somehow in there or it's just an appearance when everything is happening so fast that it it arises as if there is a me as if there is a person

here so by sitting quietly and noticing what is presently here or kind of stop feeding that illusion and noticing the blades noticing what is going on here in actuality

so in actuality there are colors sounds sensations stream of thoughts stream of images stream of emotional responses to all of that judgments ideas everything's happening everything's flowing freely already there is nothing that makes it happen that appearance of a me comes to an idea that I am making all this happen it's like the the disc in a fan is moving the air you could say that but it's not true in your journey do you see this no self thingy is it still a mystery is it still something that is not letting you sleep at night would would you like to share

please can just unmute yourself and talk um it's okay for me it feels like obvious but also I don't see it kind of thing like um I sometimes like wonder what the me is um

uh yeah I don't know it's hard to explain for me but it feels like I'm waiting for a freedom of me disappearing and everything else just being as it is uhhuh yeah I hear you yeah but there's nothing that disappears that's the funny thing like with that with that metaphor of fan right okay yeah like yes it shows up as if there is something there but you cannot disappear because there is nothing there to disappear

So if I tell if I say just these words and just watch your reaction in a reaction to these words and it's like there is no me as an image as a sensation as a thought as an idea dear it's not real what is here is this presence is being there's you know you are right you know that you know that you are and everything else is coming and going thoughts come in situations come in feelings come in something stays something goes

but but that that idea of a me is as if there's something inside usually the body or the head sitting there pulling the strings making life happen

yeah like I want to say well there's but there's a body here then it feels like there's something that is aware of the body it's like it's portraying yeah that's the thing it's like when you say you are yes you i'm not talking to an image or to a sensation i'm talking to you

all right okay and what's

that do you know that you are aware

how do you know that

it just is right yeah but I feel like I need everything else all phenomena to know that I'm aware kind of thing otherwise I wouldn't

know like I often wonder that thing of like in deep sleep mhm this where I get kind of stuck in a loop in deep sleep we're not aware of anything but we're not aware of being aware even there's nothing i don't even know where to go with that but yeah right the deep sleep is like a state where there is nothing there just nothing but awareness is still there there is nothing as a content and how do we know that awareness is is there okay well when you are sleeping in a deep sleep let's say a cat crawls over your head or somebody Yeah rings the bell you're like "Wake up." Oh my god the cat just kind of Oh yeah just now yes i'm aware i'm picking me up funny as she was saying it ouch okay yeah so yeah okay so there's something there that hears the alarm clock go off for the cat wake you up or Yeah but then that's not a me is that not a me

no what is a me just say as you see it just right now how do you see what is a me what is that the the first thing that comes up if I say me is a memory or an image of what I look like um and I think about my name like Jose and I'm on this journey in life and one day I'm going to die sort of thing mhm um but then when you say like you're talking to to to me it feels like Yeah there's just clear space there there's like nothingness yes which is quite talking to the image see that image in your mind i'm not talking to that image i don't even see it i don't know what kind of images in your mind i mean yeah it would be like what I think I look like okay some people just see the head or the whole body or Oh yeah just the face I guess like the face yeah okay i think so so I'm not talking to that i'm talking to you oh and what am I ah very good let's see let's see ask that what am I really what am I enough of this guess work or trying to figure it out look ask a question see what comes in right there

it feels like there's this like I keep hitting the

image like kind of a like I asked that and there's nothing but it keeps going to the the self referential image like what I think I look like an image of of my face i guess my head uhhuh okay are you the image of your head

oh you see it

yeah I see it you see it right yes so just before the image of your head pops in when you ask this question who am I really do you notice that for a short while there's just open space quiet still open space do you notice that yeah there's kind of like a a physical feeling like an uneasy uneasy slightly kind of uneasy feeling uhhuh um not in a bad way but like like I'm losing my like um almost like a slight sort of freef fall feeling yeah isn't that interesting okay let's go in there and just allow yourself to free fall see don't worry nothing disappears nothing gets damaged or nothing gets to die stop existing just allow that feeling to come in fully ask this question who am I

really notice that space that

openness that quiet

stillness just being just being

that's it that's the answer

there's like a lot of sensation it's kind of like uh feeling like self-conscious self-aware that kind of thing but it's just like I guess all moving in mhm

that's the thing is like I don't know where I like if I see it then I can't be it

that's correct you see it you cannot be it and you see everything right yeah but then where do I rest it's like where do I That's That's the feeling it's like where do I just relax then like where do I go mhm just being here the resting space is here and now that quiet

stillness we may call it nothing

yeah I think I know what you mean yeah and when you look at it now do you recognize that it's always been here through all life it's always been here it's here in between thoughts it's here when you wake up in the morning and hasn't and the mind hasn't downloaded yet who you are what you need to do something very ordinary familiar nothing new nothing unusual nothing shocking it's very very simple yeah very familiar yeah

ah so this is your answer to who am I really

no now I want to ask like what's that what's that yay yeah what's that let's ask that what's that yeah what is that

nice but you know that this is or you know that you are or that something is

yeah yeah yeah and

that is beyond any description

yeah i wouldn't even know what to say yeah that's not an intellectual understanding it's an experience yes intellectual understanding is putting experience into the concepts in a tidy law ideas and saying I know what that is here you go i figured it out i know what that is but here that can Yeah it's just beyond mind priite

that feels good

sweet yeah so this illusion of separate self is saying that that image in the mind that thoughts in the mind that sensations in the body is not what I

am i am here

yeah and is that not that so that's not the the separate self right let's look is the silence open space separate and if so from

what at the moment it's just a

feeling and I could say that that feeling is

separate to what I'm seeing maybe like if I look at my sofa that experience of that feeling isn't the sofa okay i don't know that's the wrong direction that's cool that's cool right are you a feeling

no no definitely not cuz I can feel the feeling yeah a feeling is something that comes and goes

okay keep looking again what am I really okay peeling away the layers what am I really

nice that was so close it's like it feels like it might take me away yeah let it alive

i just feel like I'm the person again i don't

know it's like It's like I feel like I'm holding on mhm but I don't know how to let go how to

just let go the whole thing yeah and you cannot that's the funny thing is that you

cannot so if we look at this me what is a me in normal everyday sense it's this thoughts ideas memories feelings whole hopes goals um skills talents behaviors everything is like "Oh this is me this is what I am right everyone knows me as a Yeah

so the belief system is built upon this first core belief that I am separate individual being inside this body i'm controlling it and I have to be like this and I have to be like that and everything starts building onto this this whole identity and identities multiple identities are built on that core belief now it took years to build

this it started from my mom said "Oh you're a good boy oh no you're a bad boy." No well you should be like somebody else like other kids and why don't you do this it starts from that so this bundle is protecting itself from being destroyed dismantled corrupted it's there it's self-protecting and you can recognize that protection as resistance it's like there's this me here there's outside world and you know there's this tension in between like push and pull I like this I don't like this I take this I don't take this right so that bundle is being protected now where is this bundle where is this whole

idea it's in the mind the mind created that it's not in the body is just doing its thing as a biological organism and there's so much going on that mind has no clue about it but it knows all everything about me you know what I am and that is being

protected so it's being protected from being found out that that me is not real that whatever was built upon that core belief is all false it's all you know elaborate complex story

so in a way the mind created that image the story and everything with it and then it pretends that it forgot that it's not real that it's not there

really so when we go into this question who am I

really like oh look at that image image look at my image I I created that I wanted to keep going you know don't take this away from me otherwise everything has to be rearranged and you know I'm just going to lose my feet I'm going to fall flat and I don't know what I

Yeah I can see that it's like a like you said like when your parents talk to you when you're young and it's like it builds up this idea of a who you think you are and that feels like a that's your character then through life and you have to be that person and maintain it and all that sort of stuff

um yeah how do I uh how does it cuz I see you mean about the fan like you know all those

elements and so I guess is it a matter of taking energy out of that process yes by just realizing kind of that I don't know like whatever that that is that you were pointing to just before that familiar

it's so hard to I always like the mind always goes back to the person that's right yes it's like straight back there straight back and neck it's like don't touch my creation i love it i'm not going to let it go without the fight yeah yeah yeah but look at

this there is a difference between reality and

imagination the let's call it actuality or reality of this moment it's right here right now there is this computer here there are people on the screen we're talking we're moving you can hear my AC this is actuality of the moment this is here now where is the

person in actuality or in an imagination or in the mind definitely in imagination yes yes so now let's say here's a cup okay here's a cup can drink tea from

it if you can imagine a cup in my hand here's a cup a black cup i just drank tea from it what is there nothing i can imagine the black cup but yeah you can imagine it but there's nothing there m and I can definitely not drink tea from it or or break it or do anything to it because it's not there right so here comes the question then how do you get rid of this imagined cup oh yeah yeah you can't because it's not there anyway right it's just assumed to be there yes it's not actually there it's not actually

so you can't Yeah I see what you mean yeah so it's just a like a function really isn't it it's not really a there isn't a me it's just

a a a function to kind of navigate or whatever whatever to why it's there yeah it's an assumption unquaution assumption

but when you start questioning it it's very obvious that nothing is there like you thought you are so literally in language I'm not what I think I am right right i think I am this person this image there's something inside the head running the body the

door the one that makes things happen but it's thoughts about it in actuality everything is happening already you know

naturally there's nothing there that makes it happen

yeah I think I can see what you

mean it's like the the me is like stuck on to the awareness or something not even that no

it just comes up in awareness yes it's not stuck no

it shows up as an appearance and you cannot see it very clearly let's say you know you have an argument with somebody and they call you some names and there's that sting oh I'm getting hurt me is getting hurt yeah it happens to that thought yeah yeah but there is a thought they are hurting me my image my character or whatever and there is a sensation with that it's like a a sore spot like a sh don't don't go there

or somebody praises you and say "Oh look at that how wonderful you are you're the best you're special hey you're special and then you like oh look at me i'm special that's how it shows up yeah yeah and then it kind of consumes everything like it kind of

then the mind gets that idea and says oh I need to maintain that image now everyone else need to think that I am so special and how do I do that like how do I please these people so they think I'm special how do I act in a way that they get their um

stuff because if I'm special they're going to love me and it's all these elaborate stories that are not true but they appear as if they were true and they feel like it's true and it's so difficult to get out of that yeah because it's like watching a film of yourself it's engrossing like really engrossing yeah yeah that's when your fan of personality starts spinning and until it's unplugged it's going to keep

going like it's like I want to let go of that person [Music] yeah yeah yeah i don't know it's like it's like I almost like I want it and I don't want it is how I feel it's like I want I often feel that oh it's like I'm

really I'm kind of choosing or something or don't really want to let go of the story

what do you think would happen if you let go of the story

i guess my first thought there was like I'd worry about like my my girlfriend and my mom and like how you know what if I changed or something or that was the first or fearful thought but I'm willing to like I don't I don't think that's necessarily true but I can sort of see past that i don't think that's it's not a r it's it's irrational um to notice

yeah so don't know it's almost like it could be it's a bit scary like kind of walking into the unknown a little bit um like it could be death or what but I don't to um Well yeah cuz it's kind of

like it would be meaning letting go of the story yeah it would be like like there was a moment earlier when you were talking and it was like oh could almost go I know this doesn't make sense but like like walking back into like a a white light or something and then there would just be that so there wouldn't be me do you know what I mean oh wow how fun yeah i'd like that yeah i guess that's the image that comes up cuz it's like letting like being drowned in it mhm or

something and losing control I guess right that be that's where the kind of hanging on comes in yeah this is the biggest hook this idea of losing control as if that imagined something that lives inside the body and pulling the strings like you know the body is a puppet now it's sitting in my head and pulling the hands up see

as if that something imagine has any control there is wanting to control that's all it is it's wanting to control so you you can't really lose control that you never had yeah okay yeah i see what you mean yeah yeah

so to to make it simpler and clearer is if you look into nature in the nature everything works everything every tiny insect and animal and tree and whatever everything knows what to do and they are kind of quite well adjusted and doing exactly what they need to do yeah yeah it's not nothing is out of control no this continue the same way continuous in the same way so if I believe that I am creating that cloud in the sky and I am going to make it rain it doesn't matter for the cloud it rains when it rains and it's not because I made it so whether I believe it or not it doesn't matter so this this system is working the same by the laws of nature yeah and it doesn't matter if I believe I have control or I don't have control it's just Yeah cuz it's not there anyway anyway so it can't It was never controlling anything

anyway yeah it's tough when you sort of feel like you really understand it but you don't get it yeah there are two stages to that there is

getting that silence that the silence is or that spaciousness that openness that's always present here is the answer it's like I know I see now and then there's another step is I know that I

know it may take a while for the second step cuz first may feel like a glimpse it's not sure there is doubt but to to get through is like I know that I know yeah okay and it may take time yeah but it's okay yeah feel like I know where to look though now so that's good yeah yeah thank you very much Elena you're very welcome thank you you walk