Awakening Isn't the End of Suffering / Part 1

Awakening Isn't the End of Suffering. It's an opening, a new beginning. If you need some help, book a session here. https://bit.ly/4mD9HlL

Even after a deep spiritual awakening, many still ask: "If I know who I truly am, why am I still suffering?"

This heartfelt video explores why emotions, pain, and life’s challenges don’t simply disappear after initial awakening and why that’s okay. You’ll hear real stories, raw vulnerability, and guidance on how to meet emotions fully without resistance, finding the underlying safety and presence that’s always here.

Whether you’re a seasoned seeker or just starting your journey, this conversation offers comfort, clarity, and a reminder: there is no “done” — there’s only life unfolding.

Websites
http://ilonaciunaite.com
http://liberationunleashed.com

Transcript

You are listening to 
awakening now podcast. This is episode number 103
Why Suffering Can Continue Even After Awakening

My name is Ilona Ciunaite. I am a guide, an author, and co-creator of the Liberation Unleashed community. If you are going through the process of awakening, this podcast is for you. Over the past 14 years, I’ve been guiding and supporting seekers on their journeys to discover inner peace and freedom.

In this podcast, I dive deep into the heart of awakening. Together with my guests, we explore the pivotal moments that spark transformation, what life looks like before and after the shift, and how to navigate the challenges and beauty of living an awakened life.

Even after a deep spiritual awakening, many still ask: "If I know who I truly am, why am I still suffering?"

In this heartfelt deep looking session we explored why emotions, pain, and life’s challenges doesn't simply disappear after initial awakening and why that’s okay. You’ll hear real stories, raw vulnerability, and guidance on how to meet emotions fully without resistance, finding the underlying safety and presence that’s always here.

Whether you’re a seasoned seeker or just starting your journey, this conversation offers comfort, clarity, and a reminder: there is no “done” — there’s only life unfolding.

There are so many people that come to the point, okay, I've seen it. I had a glimpse or I had a realization. I now know what I am. I know. But why the suffering is still here? Why there are all these emotions? And you may you may resonate with that. It seems like for the seeker, the idea is that once I see it, my emotions are going to be not touching me. Somehow I'm going to be transcending them or not there to feel fully deeply. And there is such a surprise because that's not how things are.

I would say the simplest analogy would be if you are walking with your sunglasses and you're taking sunglasses off. Whatever was in the view remains the same. There's no change in the view. But there is a change in how it appears.

You're seeing it from a different perspective, from a different view, from a different place than where it was a tint of brownness or bluiness or pinkness. Now it's just plain old reality. There's nothing changed. It's just so ordinary.

So with this seeking when this seeing through the self illusion happens it's like that. Oh it's all so ordinary. All the patterns are still here. All the conditioning is still here. All the reactions are still here. Yes. Yes. It's just seeing how it is. What is the way showing up? And that's okay because without recognition something else opens. It's like taking these sunglasses off. There's some other place to look from and that is underlying okayess with whatever is here with everything. Yes, there are intense moments, intense emotions and it's okay. So this shift may be for the mind of a seeker may be so insignificant or so not what I want because I want the end of suffering or the end of uh unwanted situations and unwanted scenarios and feelings. But here you go. It's not like that. It's deeper. It's so much deeper than this.

So when somebody comes and says, "Oh, maybe I lost it. Maybe I didn't see it enough. Maybe I didn't see it clear enough or long enough. Why am I still in suffering? Why am I still having all these reactions?

It's so sweet. But that that expectation or that hope needs to be seen through and let go of. And welcome to the re reality. And reality is life continues. You meet your mom, you you go to work, you have your family, you have all the obligations, responsibilities as a human being. That doesn't disappear anywhere. It continues.

And when this okayess is here, there's kind of a gap opens up. A space opens up that that is there saying, well, this is not me. I am here. I'm here. I am. I know I am. I'm here. Everything else moves through me in me like waves. Emotions come, sensations come, situations come and go. I remain. And that even that word I

seems kind of funny in the beginning because what is this eye?

But there is knowing that of existence, knowing of presence, of being

like a openness or skyike space which is so welcoming for everything to be as it is.

So the suffering can still be there and tears and buckets of tears and all the pain and everything everything that is being felt that is still contracted wants to free itself. That's why it comes up. So this is the the end of confusion because everything that is still in pain that is still contracted wants to be open wants to breathe wants to come back to its natural state. So it's not wrong in any way that all this stuff is coming up. It's actually good because on seeing it differently from a different place, it frees itself.

So that's the process.

I think the biggest lesson for me in this and the biggest learning was to say yes to whatever arises to learn to say that sometimes through the squeeze teeth. But if it's already here, it's already here. It's not like anything or anyone is asking for permission to be. It's already here.

So then that suffering can be met fully. The old pain can be met. The stories can be met. Even stories they want freedom. They want to be free from the attachments. That's why they keep coming up. Bringing these attachments so we can look at them. Look at them closely. So they can open up and let the story be. So instead of 10 years ago something something happened so horrible I cannot sleep at night to this day. It's like yeah something happened 10 years ago and it was horrible but I'm okay. It's gone. It's passed. It's not what I am.

And I don't know do you resonate with this? Is there is there a tendency to think that oh because because stuff is coming up and I feel pain and uncomfortable emotions that means that I haven't seen clearly what I am. Does that resonate with you? Maybe you want to explore this a little bit further and speak about this so we can we can start from there. Okay, Swen, hello. How are you? I don't know. I can say I feel like a strong sense of presence and awakeness and uh I might already be enlightened. Wonderful. Right. I I mean I'm always this awareness anyway, but uh there's still a bit of um shame and a bit of uh feeling not good enough and feel or feeling ugly and stuff like that. It's still still there because it's such a long-standing topic for me. But I can say I feel more connected with people and don't judge them almost don't judge them at all. How about you? Do do you still feel a lot of judgment towards you? A little bit. I guess not good enough. Like I said, like somehow not successfully enough not don't know what to do with my life really. Mhm. Bit too lazy. I don't know.

And how about your the place that you lived? You said before that you really didn't like it. Is this growing on you now? Not. No, not really. I mean, I I can make do. It's not like um it's like Hell on Earth or something, but I I really prefer I really I'd really like to do some uh

see some new places, travel around a bit or something. And I still haven't gotten around to doing it because I'm still a bit on this spiritual thing because I know I can't find happiness anywhere. So I'm not completely fulfilled here and now. Mhm. Mhm. That's why I'm not really leaving yet, I guess. Yeah. Yeah. It's great to recognize that. Yeah. It's the inner job. The happiness is in a job. It's not

to be used. It's not to be found somewhere. Yeah. And the the gold is in the negative emotions. Yeah. The cave. The cave we fear to enter, like they say. Uhhuh. I don't know. Like I've released already a lot, but I still feel a bit of a tightness here. Bit of anxiety.

Struggling with this [ __ ] hair loss going on my [ __ ] nerves. Don't want to like [ __ ] annoying me. I'm a long-haired guy. I'm ruining. Oh, that's that's one identity that is kicking. Yeah, it's ruining myself. Yes, the long-haired guy is screaming. I don't like this. People might underestimate how painful this really is. Seems maybe a bit ridiculous. Oh, what a [ __ ] but it's really quite painful. I can imagine. I had a period that I I lost a lot of hair and it was Oh, what's going on?

Yeah. Well, I I'm I'm not saying that it was as bad as what you are feeling, but kind of got what you are saying. It's not a pleasant experience.

But it's good in the way because it got me out of body identification and made me really dig deep into uh this process here. Oh well then thank you here for pulling out. So yes that's what I mean saying yes to whatever is right. Well he's going to die anyway. I mean you might as well at least I have two arms, two legs and I'm quite healthy. So not the worst in the world, but

well is is there anything that you want to look at today specifically? Yeah, just I mean I have this bit of a contraction here. We can just look at that maybe. Okay. Because I always resonate with your approach quite well. Always feel a shift afterwards. Sweet. Thank you. Okay, so let's look at that. Let's go, SW right in. Let's dive in, man. Yes. Notice that you're here. You are here. Yes, you're safe.

There's nowhere else to be. Yeah, we are here. Nowhere else to be. Nothing else to do. So, let's invite that energy now. Let's bring it up. Thank you for coming. Thank you for coming.

[Music] Like it's moving up a little bit. Uhhuh. Okay. Tell it. I see you. I acknowledge you're here. You're loud. You're valid. And you're very welcome to be here. You're welcome. Feels a bit fake when I say it. It's a bit of a resistance and I just want to feel good. I just want to feel happy. I don't want this. Yeah. Yeah. But let's look at that welcome. You know, it's not like you're welcoming it as it's feeling bad. You're welcoming it because it came up. If it came up, he wants to leave. That's all. Yeah. And it's also a part of me. I remember that always. I'm always quicker to remember that it's part of me ultimately. If you cut your feelings, if you want them gone, you It's like cutting your hand off. Yes. But it's not you. It's a part of this system. Yes. But it's not you. Yeah. I can see the feeling. I can see it. Yes. You see it. You feel it. You know kind of in my face now. Strange in the face. Oh, tell it. I see you. Here you go. I see you.

Welcome here.

Welcome. Yeah. Welcome. You're allowed to be here. Don't

just drop this question on. What do you want the most? See what comes back. What do you want the most?

Safety. Safety. Ask it. Are you in danger?

Yes. Oh. And what's the danger?

being attacked or something. Uhhuh. By who or what? By other people. Okay. In this group on this meeting? No, not these people here, but Uhhuh. I mean, probably goes back to school time or something. Okay. being bullied a little bit. Not really bullied, but I well something like that. So you still remember what happened? Yeah. I was not really being myself when I became teenager. I was like wearing a mask. Mhm.

And is this danger still here?

Like right now? Well, not really. It's no just the old pattern I guess. Okay. So let's acknowledge that that happened. Yes, that happened in the past. That happened.

But now it is safe. There is no danger. These are very beautiful people

around you.

Can you ask that energy to check for itself? It is is it safe right now? Is it safe right now? No. Yes. Yes. I'll tell it. Thank you so much. I agree. See

quite still quite strong energy. Mhm. Mhm. Maybe wants to move, express itself or even tell something. Ask it anything you want me to know.

Next thing you want to know. I should allow myself more completely actually. Oh, that's a good one. [Music] Well, see, thank you so much. I didn't expect that from you. I wanted you to go.

Yeah. In a critic says, "Oh, but first you have to figure life out before you can allow yourself." Ah, it's nonsense. Okay, let's let's give a little bit of a critic to that inner critic. Say, are you sure? What are you talking here about?

Are you sure?

somehow like something is shifting there as if I look at life differently now. But you don't need to know everything. You can just

try something.

Yeah. Imagine if we had to know everything in order to love ourselves. Why would it stop? There's no way to know everything

and just love ourselves, honor ourselves, celebrate ourselves.

Now you don't need to wait for that.

Yes. Yeah. Can you tell that inner critic, you're welcome, you know, to give your opinion, but please check before you start even saying anything if it's true.

Yeah. Sometimes seems like there is a a parrot there that is stuck and is repeating something very old that makes no sense anymore when it just keeps saying stuff. Yeah. Luckily, I become more and more aware of thoughts and don't get pulled away from so quickly. Oh, that's so great to hear. Yeah, still it seems like there just a little bit still missing. Not quite here yet. Not quite saying I'm done with spiritual searching. I'm done with it. Can just be me. Be with Yeah. But but there is no done with it. There's no done. There's no done. No. No done. Yes. Yes. Yes. Exactly. That's also true.

Yeah. There is no need to wait for the done. There is no done. There is just life happening and seeking is happening. And when it's no longer seeking, it's just the same energy, but it's it has a flavor of curiosity or exploration or joyful, I don't know, playfulness.

Yeah. You know, when we were kids and everything seemed so interesting, you know, you take an onion, it's like, oh, what's this? Look at that. I can peel it. And what's funny is as a kid I never wanted to grow up really. Yeah. I always said something wrong with the adults. I don't want to be like them. And then it got really really really bad. But by not wanting to grow up I became became even worse resisting resisting the flow. God damn it.

something with this awakening stuff. It feels like you grow up and on one hand it feels also you you become an adult really being but just yeah responsible for yourself. So that's so true. Thank you for saying that. Yes, because then you know that it's my job. My happiness is my job. It's nobody's else's responsibility. My clarity or my recognition of who I am is my own my own private job.

I would say it's like becoming sane and looking back at life and thinking how insane that was to believe that or to think this way or to act this way. It was insane. But it's just everything becomes simpler and it feels sane. No, it makes a lot of sense. Yeah, I guess that's enough for now. Still feeling a bit weird, but I can deal with it. Somebody else raised a hand. I see. I see. Yes. Well, thank you so much, SW. It's so great to see you again and hear about what's going on with you. Okay, Laura. Here we go. So, it's so funny because life is so fluid like it just kind of leaves and then I just have to say something now, please. So

a very wise beautiful person said there is no right way only your way. Find and trust what is true for you. You want to know who said that? I know that was you. I thought that was so beautiful. Okay. See, if we put a famous sage in a picture, then it becomes a whole mental story. It's so beautiful. So, I'm really working through this embarrassment by saying all of this and staying with it because what happened was that when you he said safety and you asked the question, are you safe right now? I mean, I'm feeling it. It's like in my heart it's like my whole system is saying no it's not safe and I can intellectualize that okay there's no immediate threat to the physical body but it's a psychological safety is I don't feel safe because I feel scared and vulnerable of being embarrassed saying something that my mind is going to judge as stupid or be seen as an idiot. So, it's got identity um wrapped in the emotion of embarrassment. And I'm like I'm scared of t talking to you know when I press the raise your hand my whole body I'm like shaking and embarrassment and I need to I feel really strong desire to meet this because if I'm going to get through these eight weeks I need to really see this. Mhm. I um I feel scared to write in the chat. Um it just feels so vulnerable.

So that's what's here and it's in my heart. Yes. Let's meet that part. Let's meet that energy. Oh, first of all, notice you are here. It's not you. You're not meeting, how to say a part of you. You're meeting an energy. It's not you. And it's that energy that is uncomfortable.

It's that energy that feels uncomfortable.

You can see it.

So can we tell this beautiful gentle vulnerable energy, I see you.

You're okay. You are okay. I see you. You're okay. Yes, you're okay.

And thank you so much for coming.

Thank you so much for showing up and thank you for waiting all this time. I'm here now

and let me hold you in a nice warm embrace. Give me a a hug. Let's hold that energy. It's scared.

So what happens is a strong pull to go into the stories. Okay. Maybe they want to be heard. It's okay. It's okay.

The stories are all about what what am I looking like? What is this? You know, it's like it's like literally creating a person. Not in a literal sense, but as this a felt identified.

Yes. And you can almost see it. Feels like a distraction. It's like

like no, I don't want to feel this. Yeah. Why not? Let's feel this. Let's feel. It's okay. It's here. If it's already here, it's already allowed. If it's already here, it only wants your attention.

And you're not alone here. You're not alone.

And can you ask that energy, what do you need to feel safer? What can I give you to feel safer?

What do you need?

What's coming up is nothing. Nothing. Okay. Okay. So, ask it. Do you want to feel safe?

Do you want to feel safe?

You want to feel safe.

There's trust.

Yeah. What does it say? Does it want to feel safe? Did it say yes or no to that? Yes. Yes. Okay. Now, let's look at this. Cuz there is one thing to be safe is saying I'm not safe. If if there is one thing There it's saying that I don't have what I want. But can you ask that energy to check like say okay that's just to be sure I trust you. Have a look. Are you safe right now?

right now. Are you safe right now?

Yeah. Yeah. It's always safe. It's always safe. So that one thing is the only thing in the way. It's that one thing.

Yeah.

And it's very very old very old program says I want to feel safe. I can't accept this because I want something else.

Yeah. When you fall back, um,

what I mean by that is like if you, it's like it's obvious that it's safe. Mhm. Then the wanting shows up and then it gets um

it like obscures the safety that's already there. Yes. Yes. Exactly. Cuz then when the one thing comes up, we no long we are no longer looking at the one thing. We're looking through it what we don't have. Golly, that is so that's the filter. Yeah, cuz I want something else means this that is here right now is not enough. And that tension of wanting something else is the very thing that is not allowing to relax and drop back into everything's okay.

Even that one thing is okay. But you know, you are not looking through it out there. We're looking right at it. It's right here.

I'm trying to work it back. Cuz

I guess it just boils back to being rooted in yourself like and presence.

So the wanting to be saved moves you away from the safety that is correct.

Well, [ __ ] I guess I'll just sit here.

I could go around in a circle. Come. You're always where you are. Yeah. And everything's always okay. Yeah. Thank you, Luna. Oh, that's so beautiful. Thank you. Take your