What Is the Sense of Self, Really?

In this episode, I invite you to look directly at the sense of self — not as an idea or a belief, but as lived experience.

Before thoughts arise, before emotions move, before any story about “me” appears, there is a simple knowing of being here. A sense of existing. A feeling of “me.” This sense of self is so familiar that it is rarely questioned and often taken for granted.

Together, we explore what this sense of self actually is. Where it appears in the body. How it shows up as sensation, pressure, orientation, or effort. How it organizes experience and creates the feeling of being at the center of life.

You’re invited to notice how the sense of self becomes especially clear in moments of pride or hurt, and how easily identification forms around these sensations. We look at how the sense of “me” can feel solid and personal, and what happens when it is met directly with attention.

This is not about getting rid of the sense of self, fixing anything, or changing experience. It’s about seeing clearly. When the sense of self is looked at directly, something often softens. Identification relaxes. What remains is openness, presence, and a quiet knowing that does not come and go.

Nothing here needs to be believed. This is an invitation to look for yourself.

Music by Valdi Sabev, Visit his channel for more calm and relaxed music 
https://www.youtube.com/c/ValdiSabev/featured

Transcript

Awakening is a shift in perception — a clear seeing of what you are and what you’ve mistaken yourself for.
 It reveals what was here all along.

You’re listening to Awakening Now, a podcast for those on the path of self-discovery and spiritual awakening.

This is episode 119:
 What Is the Sense of Self, Really?

My name is Ilona Ciunaite.
 I’m a guide, an author, and co-creator of the Liberation Unleashed community.

For over fourteen years, I’ve been supporting people through awakening — both the clarity and the confusion that can follow the first insight.
 If you are in the process of awakening, this space is for you.

Podcast Description (single text, SEO-ready)

In this episode, I invite you to look directly at the sense of self — not as an idea or a belief, but as lived experience.

Before thoughts arise, before emotions move, before any story about “me” appears, there is a simple knowing of being here. A sense of existing. A feeling of “me.” This sense of self is so familiar that it is rarely questioned and often taken for granted.

Together, we explore what this sense of self actually is. Where it appears in the body. How it shows up as sensation, pressure, orientation, or effort. How it organizes experience and creates the feeling of being at the center of life.

You’re invited to notice how the sense of self becomes especially clear in moments of pride or hurt, and how easily identification forms around these sensations. We look at how the sense of “me” can feel solid and personal, and what happens when it is met directly with attention.

This is not about getting rid of the sense of self, fixing anything, or changing experience. It’s about seeing clearly. When the sense of self is looked at directly, something often softens. Identification relaxes. What remains is openness, presence, and a quiet knowing that does not come and go.

Nothing here needs to be believed. This is an invitation to look for yourself.

What follows is a reocrding of a montly zoom meeting. you are welcome to join the next one too. 

Before thoughts, before emotions, before any stories, there is knowing that I am here, that there is this beingness here, the sense of self. And today's invitation is to meet that directly, not theoretically, not something philosophical.

Truly look at it. see what is there and you will find out something new about it or something that wasn't expected.

And when we speak about sense of self, it's just something taken for granted that there is a sense of self. And yes, I know this body has skin. It has got boundaries. I don't walk through the walls. I walk through the doors. You need some space around it.

And often around the chest or the throat to the face or behind the eyes. That's one of the most common places where people point to where are you? Oh, I'm here. I'm here looking through these eyes or the heart. Sometimes it feels like pressure or like an effort to hold things together.

And we can notice that sense of self is also a sensation just like emotion is a sensation. It's energy appearing in awareness.

Before there is an idea of me, there's a bodily sense of orientation, a feeling of being here, looking out, managing, holding, navigating, efforting, perceiving, receiving. That's all good.

It's very practical and very useful. And that's how we get around as humans. So the sense of self is how we organize our experiences and how we interpret what's going on. It creates continuity, a story, a history.

It seems like there is a me in at the center of the experience around which everything evolves.

Sense of self is intelligent structure

and we can clearly see it when when we get hurt or when we are proud mostly when we get hurt and when we are proud. So let's look at this now in your own experience. What is the sense of self or sense of me?

Is there a particular location, a particular frequency or texture or flavor? What is the sense of me?

So when you're looking at the sense of self or sense of me, what are you actually looking at?

One of common expressions is it's a bundle of thoughts and emotions or it's a memory. But what are you actually looking at? What is there? Sensation, a movement, contraction, expansion. Even though it's so familiar, it truly there are no words to describe it.

But there is knowing of existing, knowing of being. So maybe it's not a sense. Maybe the word sense is just a way to describe it. Perhaps it's a knowing. Another word for that is awareness.

There's absolutely no problem with a sense of self as in being aware being aware of being aware. The confusion comes in when we identify with a self with a sense of self or somehow this sensation is what I am or this thought pattern is what I am or this body is what I am. Then this sense of self is no longer just pointing to this knowing. It becomes a thing, an object to identify with and through which then we look at everything and we think that oh this is what I am and everything is happening to me.

A little example would be if you if you look at your wall and you see some dot on a wall and from the perspective of a dot,

the dot is here and the wall is happening to the dot. The wall is out there. It's not what I am. I am the dot and the wall is happening to me.

And from the perspective of the wall, it's just another occurrence. It's just another tiny dot. And there are many many different dots and markings and marks distinguish marks on that wall. And this dot is just another appearance. The wall is not happening to the dot. The dot is appearing in the wall.

So the sense of me or sense of self is like that little dot appearing in awareness that there's something vast, unlimited, open, bordless, boundless.

And we can call it presence. It's just being

knowing of the presence. Knowing

of something being here.

So it's interesting that we identify with a particular sensation. We think that this is what I am like a tightness and I mentioned being hurt or being proud and we can just have a little test now. Now, if I'm talking to you and I tell you you are amazing, you made it here and how many difficulties you had to go through and uh and you must be really really proud of yourself that you got here where you are and just feel that sense of achievement or some pride. It may be going through but if you can catch that little pride there's something behind that is saying oh I'm good me yeah I made it look at that the identity very much hides in that and that's oh this sense of self has been you know given attention given love given validation see if you can catch You can feel that.

And on the other hand, if I was to say, "You stupid. You should have gotten this by now." And if there is a kind of sting, if something comes up in any conversation with anyone as a sting, as a place where the dark lands, that we often identify as me, the hurt, that place that where the insult lands

and that that sting we often

name is me. I'm hurt.

They hurt me. These words hurt me.

But from the point of view of awareness or just presence, we can see that these sensations or these events, they come and go and they okay. They are information. But I am here. And these things, sensations, emotions, thoughts, energy formations, contractions, expansions, they come and go, come and go.

It's a sense of me, sense of self, sense of existing, but it's not what I am.

So when you look at the sense of self directly, what do you see?

At some point it dissolves. There is nothing to look at. There is a spaciousness, openness, effortlessness.

Something softens

and the structure relaxes.

And look at that. The thoughts continue to to rise and flow. on the sensations are here and emotions are here. Everything's here. Breathing is here. So maybe that something behind the eyes that is holding tight and is called me is really just another sensation, just another occurrence, another movement and experience.

And and if that is seen, then nothing needs to change. Nothing needs to be corrected or got rid of or fixed. Everything's allowed.

So it's not that the sense of self drops away. is that identification with the occurrence or appearance

breaks down because it's clear that you are here with and without that sensation. You are here without that tension in the head or some pressure in the heart or the hurt. You're here and all these things come and go.

When there is a sense of self, there is a sense of other or others.

But all these others

are in this awareness in this knowing.

So let's take a look at the knowing itself. Awareness itself.

What are you looking at?

and the words that come most often is it's nothing.

There's nothing.

Something unpindownable. You can't really capture that with words. But there is that sense or or recognition of silence, spaciousness, openness, calmness. Something that doesn't move, doesn't come and go and doesn't even need a name. It doesn't need an identity. Doesn't need to be said I am this or I am that. It's just herh.

It's already free.

So we can see ourselves as a space in which everything arises and everything comes and goes. But that space is knowing.

Thank you very much. Thank you, Alex. Pleasure to meet you. Thank you. Thank you very much. Pleasure to meet you.

Okay.

How would anyone else from people who never been or never spoke would like to speak? Yay Lennis and yay Brenda. Okay. First Lennis, then Brenda. Okay, cool. Hi, morning. Hello, Ilona.

So it's very very touching very

I think when when this sense of being when the sense of knowing is there it feels like this emptiness or this void and it feels very

It feels incredibly welcoming and it feels to be so much relief and there's a sense of traveling back and forth like from an old foundation of I and me and mine and old mindsets. And now there is this having found home again or having found refuge again. And

language becomes I think language is part of the biggest hurdle right now. How to how to convey even to myself. Yeah. You know it's like how does how does it speak to itself? It doesn't speak to itself. So it's like that that is seems to be the big it's not even an issue but that's like where this wobble inside of that's going on right now. Does that make sense when I say that? Yes. Yes. So

I feel the I describe this this has been a process that's gone on for several years and I the name that came up in my head is it's a wobble. It feels like a seessaw and I'm going from one foundation to another foundation but I have had no idea. It was just trusting it. I um the practice that I have been in I don't know how this came about but I I write every day. I write three pages every day and and so that has been I've done this for many years or this has been a process for many years and it has been very revealing to saying wow look how emotions change so quickly you know from the moment you start a sentence to the moment you end a sentence already emotions have changed already a new thought has arrived and so it was becoming focusing into the inner realms into the inner landscape.

I don't want to do too much background story cuz it's anyways it's not relevant. Um

so it's really I think it's the trusting of just relocating into this knowing and just tr trusting the process of there's nobody who's steering it and so there's just a watching and a witnessing and a gladness I think that's all I don't know what else to say but any your pointers have been very very useful I love the questions that you um that you give us to work go on occasionally it really it you never know what is the next step you never know what is the next sort of opening it can come you know when you go on a walk it can come through a beautiful quest you never know it's just like it's like blessings in waiting and they just come so so I'm just thankful yeah that's firstly I want to acknowledge that this is such a mystery And for the minds to wrap it in the words, you have to to to know that words are limited. And even if you put them in a beautiful most beautiful poetic way, they may capture something. They may like monsters, like roomy. I like roomie. There are words that can capture that essence but still

it can never ever describe it.

So we can play with words and it's beautiful but knowing that it's limited. Yes. And there is something beyond these words is that silence. This is so sweet. A very sweetness.

I love this. We're playing with words. Words are playing with with words are playing, right? Yeah. And that's it. Life is playing. Thank you. Can be very creative and fun. Yes. But at the same time knowing that it's such a mystery and it can never even touch.

Thank you. Lovely.

Okay, Brenda, please just unmute your microphone. Lovely to meet you. Hi Alona. So nice to meet you. Yes. So I just recently started listening to your YouTube channel. Um came up on my algorithms with uh with Luchana and then and then Angelo and during your interview with Angelo um I think Angelo said something something like you know you know where you want to go and and you need and you know you can go there and then you said something I wish I could remember what it was. I can't right now. But right at that moment, I was like, you know, I clicked off the YouTube and I went there and and I had an opening and um I saw through the illusion and with the opening I felt the aliveness of everything. I won't go into too much about, you know, what what that was like, but it it was it was quite an opening and the and the aperture of experience stayed open for, you know, a few days, but it it seemed to kind of close down a little bit, but kind of opens and closes, I guess. I I guess you could say um the illusion of eye comes back, you know, now now and again, I think I I don't know. I had a period of flow for a couple weeks um followed by a huge life situation that um probably one of the hardest things that I've ever had to go through. Um Mhm. which kind of felt like it clamped everything back down very strongly. Um,

it I can be with it for a while, but

when I believe the thoughts about what could happen with the future with it, it clamps down so tight that I can almost not even talk. But if I write it down or explain it to somebody, it seems to be peak and be felt and then I can open again. But it's every single feeling of guilt of um

gosh, I don't know what else. Like just just fear and guilt and pretty much every emotion you could possibly think of.

is getting squeezed out. Um yeah,

you know, when there is an opening, when there is an opening, it's like the next layer of stuff that hasn't been felt is revealed and it wants to be met.

That's it. It's not here to hurt you, to punish you, to make you feel bad. It just wants to be met. Yeah. Because with the next opening, you can't take all the old stuff with you anymore.

It's like clearing, purifying, cleaning. That's the process. With every opening the next layer is revealed a deeper one and a deeper one. You know like layer cake. Do you like layered cake? Like many many many many layers. So we just eat the layer one layer at a time and then there is the next one and the next one and the next one and the next one. It's okay. when a minute it's hard it's hard to distinguish between am I believing thoughts is it the you know it's hard to understand if it's am I believing the thoughts that are coming up or is it the feeling it's the feeling it's always the feeling it's hard to distinguish it's always the feeling yeah the energy that is contracted that has been held like this in prison tight but it was just so um how to say ordinary and you've been used to it. You don't even know it's hurting anymore, become numb to it. But when with the opening, it's like that that contraction saying, "Oh my god, I will be met now. There's enough space for me." So the opening is only always getting larger and larger and larger and larger and larger and larger and larger. doesn't go back. It seems like because the intense experiences come in with the emotions or contractions that are still there, but it's always asking you to expand more, to expand more, to include that, to allow that, to be with that without flinching.

So right here, right now with this beautiful group of people,

just being here.

Can you just tune in and see what is there that is calling for your attention that wants to be felt? It doesn't matter the story is now. It's the sensation, the energy. What is here that is waiting to be allowed, included?

Grief and sadness. Go. Yes. Yeah. Yes. Please come. Come. There's enough space for you here to can come. You can be can be as you are. So

that's a very raw

sensation that's so super vulnerable. Yeah.

Let's just acknowledge that it's here.

Can you tell it? I see. I see. I am here. I see you. I'm not you. You're not me. You're not even mine. It's just energy that wants to be met.

And can you check for yourself? Is it safe to feel it? Just check.

Yeah, it's safe. Mhm. That's so important to notice that it's safe to feel depth, the intensity, the roiness.

It is safe.

It's just a sensation in the body. It is a sensation in the body. Yes.

Mhm.

And meeting it means allowing it to be as it is without agenda to fix it, change it, get rid of it or any other. Just meeting it as it is, seeing it as it is, letting it be.

So, can you tell that that energy gently? You're allowed. You're welcome. Thank you for coming.

You're valid.

And you are already free.

You're free.

It definitely feels better to meet meet it than it does to hold on to it. Holding on to it contracts just Oh, yes. Yes. Yes.

It's a little bit like if you have a a ball, peach ball, and you put it under water, you know, it's it's only a matter of time when you're going to release it and it comes out. Mhm. And holding is like effort is trying. It hurts. Trying to manage it. If you meet it, it's like okay, this is here. I am here.

I'm not it. It's not me.

Something that wants to be set free, but it needs your attention. Mhm.

Yeah. They may be layers and layers and layers and layers. So, we don't need to worry about all that. It's just what is here now. Whatever is showing up in the moment is is enough.

That's the that's the part that when the stories come, it's it's to not believe the story that comes up. Instead, to go into the emotion. Um,

okay. The story comes up for a reason.

It comes because there is a an an energy that wants to be met. That's its purpose. It's just delivery system.

It's not about believing or not believing a story because that would be a mental exercise. Doesn't work.

When that energy opens up, that story may come up, but it's no longer charged and then it can be here or not. And yes, horrible things happen. It's not like ignoring it or denying it or saying, "Oh, that that's not never happened." It did. But the relationship with the story Yeah. changes because the energy frees itself. Freeze itself. Okay. Yeah. Because my mind tries to go in and change it. Doesn't want to accept that it happened, you know, does all these things. My mind trying to change what happened or not wanting to, you know, I wake up in the middle of the night in a panic like, "No, it didn't happen." You know, Yeah. Yep. there some but I notice when when I do feel the emotion then the story changes not there but then the story starts the emotion you know so yeah

when we feel something deep

the mind comes in and labels it and narrates it and tells us what it is. That's the story.

Yeah. But before words there's a contraction, there is pain or hurt or some unfinished emotion.

And the first thing really to do is just to acknowledge that it's here. It's here. I see you.

I see you means you're allowed. I'm safe. You can be here.

I need a flash card. Yeah. All day. Can it tattoo allowed? You're allowed. You're allowed. Everything's Everything is itelves. Like can only be itself, right? It's already allowed. It's already here. It's not asking a for permission to show up.

It's just acknowledging that.

Okay. No, little one, you're hurting.

What do you need?

That's how it feels, too. It feels so raw and vulnerable like a child when it comes through. Yeah.

Yeah.

Oh, such adventure. You know, when we start going through these layers, it's like who writes the script? It's crazy. Yeah. Right.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you everyone for holding space. Thank you everyone.

Okay. Would anyone else like to share, explore, or say?

New people first, but if nobody's here, everyone else is welcome. See?

Please, Daniel. Yeah. Yeah. Yes. Just unmute your microphone. Yes. Okay. Like, hi everybody. Nice to be here. Feels really good like an open space just to be and like listen in and check in and like a little bit calm. It's really nice. Thank you guys. Um yeah, I got like a million questions literally not just like one just just popped out right now for me but actually sorry like this is I I had a few which were like uh related to to Brandon but I think I'm going to go for my own thing and maybe anyway like my question is listening to you and going into this observer role also to uh Alex right like I know this kind of things and I'm reading these books and thinking about these things and on one hand I feel like okay one hand I think yeah I know this and this I know this very well and on the other hand it feels like I'm like sometimes I'm afraid like I'm disassociated from reality or from normal people or whatever or from normal life and I think like I think I've seen this kind of a long time already in my life that I kind of like am not in the world but not you know what is it called like uh out of this world but not in the world or something like And I don't and it's like also maybe some psychological thing or maybe it's like I I don't know what it was or is. And I'm also kind of like wanting to check in. Not that it's that and I'm just suggesting myself that maybe wow this is great. I'm now uh observing and really cool and relaxed and in in reality like missing maybe life. when I'm wondering sometimes how do normal people think who are running around and thinking yeah this is uh this is like I really like to ride my bicycle and this is what I do and whatever right like I don't know what it is you know like but but people who are very in the world and I'm not you know I don't know does it make sense this is just a question like how can I be sure that I'm not just separating myself from everything you know like and isolating myself mentally in a way That's it. Mhm. Yeah, I know what you mean because when you talk to people everyday people who are not into selfqual stuff, it's there's no connection there. like you can't really share what you see and you don't really want to take what they see because doesn't make sense anymore. But then but then your aliveness is here. You're present. You're here. You can't you can't um remove yourself from life because life is showing up as you.

Life is showing up as them as well. But life is showing up as you. That aliveness for sure. All the thoughts, all the emotions, all the actions, the movement, everything is here.

Dissociating is a little bit like removing yourself from from experience through I don't know explanations, mental exercises. But but uh when you see that there's only life and there's only this aliveness showing up as you, it's much more playful and curious. Can I can I throw something out there just why not? You know what could you do? You can just hang up on me maybe. What's the worst you can do? Uh like uh no like I was thinking about like just what came to mind is like autism basically. Not bad. Not but but basically this this these people sometimes they're like in the living their own world, right? They like have have difficulty interacting with other people and and they have their own language or they do their own things and it feels a little bit like that, you know? And it's not bad. I'm not judging at all. I I'm just saying like it it feels a little bit off in a way. Weird. Yeah. Weird. Weird. Yeah. And maybe it's weird to come home to this somehow that other people are like this in a way this abstract as as as you said uh Alex I think there are few people who can really like get into this and this like some people get it really quickly like when you talk about this kind of level and many other people you can't they would never you can't really like try to talk to them on this kind of abstract level you know I mean yeah

you know when I first saw saw this. Mhm. When I first saw this, I I had this question and it appeared in a way that you know in the dream when you dream at night if I if I meet some other people in my dream, do I really need to tell them that they are dream characters in my dream? That was my question kind of. You know, if I'm awake in my dream, do I need to tell dream characters that they are dream characters in my dream?

It's just a dream. I carry on carry on dreaming. Whatever is going on is being taken for reality. And so in this waking life as well, I mean, if if I don't have an agenda to kind of get them to communicate on my level. I can communicate the way that life is shaping and it's okay.

Okay.

Yeah.

Yeah. For sure.

Yeah. I have no question. I just I just put it out there and maybe somebody pings over it, punks over it. You know what I mean? Like ping pongs over it or not. It's fine. Thank you very much. Thank you very much. Thinking about these things. Yeah. Interesting. Yes. There's a lot to explore, you know.

Thank you.

Yes, please. Yara,

Elona. Yes. Yeah. So, uh, one thing that I read in your book that has stuck with me for for the past few days that I kind of walk with, I hike with is um, is the body experiencing or is the body being experienced? And when I go on a walk or a hike or anything, that one just hit me really hard. I I like it a lot. Um to just play with that one. When you're going through daily activities and tasks. Anyway, I just thought I would share that. Yeah, it's a good question. It's a good one. Yeah.

And I had that too like when you take a walk it's a good moment to experience that like walking like things passing and feeling and happening. I noticed that too. It's like if you're sitting in a chair all day it's like different when you get up you have like new you get like new impressions right like

Um, Yara, you let you just unmute your microphone, please. Yeah, thank you. And yeah, I'm happy to be here. And it's um yeah, there's a re like a my English is I have to to you um to get used again uh with English. Um so there is a reconnection when you are talking and all the others it's very beautiful and uh the sentence I mean I guess for sure I already heard it but today it touched me really much that the eye is also just an experience and just coming and going and Yeah, very thankful for this and yeah, I hope to to come closer to your work and to stay sometimes with you and thank you for responding me from the liberation side. Beautiful. Thank you so much. Lovely to meet you.

Hey Daniel, you this. So because I'm not yet there, the feeling of I and all of that stuff and looking at at awareness itself like is it there and so on is a little bit abstract for me. It's like difficult to like some things are getting more difficult to turn into I feel to to look at. So I wanted to maybe have like a tip where I can look at what we what I can practice till I meet the next guide like to try to find this thing of eye maybe you know like where where can I look because I don't feel it I would say

that's that's um why am I done because there's nothing there to feel. That's right. And see you there. Bye. I'm done. Yes. Good night. That's great. Yes. Okay. Interesting. Yeah. But no, you're talking about self coming and going and this feeling of being in a feeling and so on. Yes. But what I meant that self is coming and going is that there are some sensations or some energies that are showing up and I being misidentified as what I am. Misidentified assumed to be what I am. But when you see a sensation as sensation, emotion as emotion, thought as thought, um you know, sound is sound is not me. It's not what I am. Okay? Because otherwise, you know, you can be looking for an absence of eye for a very long time till it dawns that there is nothing to look at. There's nothing to look there's nothing there. How do you see an absence of something that is not there? Oh, okay. Thank you. This is u encouraging. So I don't know keep going or not. We will see. Thank you. Yeah. So it's much more interesting to look at what actually is than look for something that doesn't exist.

Thank you. Yay Swen. Hi Swen. I'm not new but uh I gonna try anyway. Cool.

Yeah, I'm barely listening really. It's like uh I don't really care about about the words.

I um I only care about still feeling a bit weird like um some kind of I think there's only two feelings. It's either tightness or also expansion like either contracting or expanding and uh Mhm.

I had some big scare today as well. My laptop stopped working and uh I thought like what the [ __ ] It's almost like losing hand or something. You get so panicky. Oh my god, my stuff is gone. But I got it fixed for only €20. So, but but my whole routine was uh I I didn't I feel like I'm totally hooked on routine and if I don't have my routine, I I feel really even though I'm tr Okay, let's get to the point. It's just

I'm still resisting this uh I'm feeling here even though I know it's a part of me.

I kind of want it gone. Okay, let's acknowledge that. I agree. I want it gone. I want it gone. Go already.

Go away. Go away. I don't want you here. Yes, I I see that. I see that. I want this.

feels tight. It feels

could grow into a panic almost.

Okay. And now now once it's acknowledged that you don't want this, can we look at what is actually there?

Yeah, we can. Okay. Just feel it and ask it. What are you? What are you?

I'll get only something like life energy. Life energy. Okay. Okay. Yes. Yes. Yes. Thank you for being here. Life energy.

welcome here. You're welcome. Also, I get the protector protector energy or something. Mhm.

So, is life energy being protecting protected or is it protecting? This life energy, is it being protected or is protecting? No, it's supposed to protect me. Oh, and also make me do things. Oh, can you say, well, thank you so much all your work. Thank you for your work trying to make me do stuff. M it's almost like I had this realization all this should I should I should it's almost like parents constantly telling you what you should do and shouldn't do

you ask this energy this question are you helping you're helping

like not really It's

more like keeping me stuck. Actually,

I'll ask you. Do you still want to keep me stuck? Do you still want to keep me stuck?

I get no, but I want to keep you safe or something. Can you tell that I'm safe? Look at that. I'm safe. There's no danger right here. Right now, always good.

Yeah, I'm already safe.

I guess I am safe right now. But you guess or you you know check it. Don't need to guess.

Well, I can only speak for this moment. This moment is fine. That's all. That's that's ever only this moment. Ever.

Yes. I had this realization that says only this moment before, but

All right. Yeah. For me, I'm just totally on the level of emotion. I have no questions about this stuff. It's all about emotion. So, is it safe to feel it? It's very unpleasant. But, um, guess it won't kill me.

It would be too easy. It could kill me if I keep trying to oppress or run away from emotions. Well, you can't run away. No, I can't. But I can drink or something like that. Yeah. But what if it's safe to feel all these unpleasant emotions?

I guess it's safe to feel them.

And the stories that are attached to it, they always keep looping. I'm not good enough. I'm not good enough.

Okay. Let's just feel that I'm not good enough. Why not? Just feel Why not? Yes. Yeah. Why not? Don't have to fight it or, you know, try to shut it down. It doesn't work. Okay. What's wrong with

Is it okay to feel it? Yeah, it's okay. It's not anything new or unusual. Same old Old variety usual emotion.

Now can you check that with that energy? Just ask that energy and what do you want the most? What do you want the most?

Relaxation. Ah say okay I agree

I agree

and just say are you ready to relax? Yes. Yeah. So that's ready to relax. Okay. Great. Just stay with it. You're already free to relax. You can relax all you want. all the way.

Yeah, I guess I feel a bit more relaxed now already.

That's the thing together with emotion also different thoughts appear. Yeah. They don't they don't seem so negative and so true and important like even if the laptop is broken what so what I won't die can buy a new one. I I lose some money, but whatever.

Always catastrophizing. What? What happened? What happened? What happened?

But you can always come back to this question. Am I safe right now? Right this moment. Yes. It's all about safety. I realize that as well. Yeah. If it's if it's safe to feel uncomfortable emotions like oh my god, you can just feel them. Yeah. And then they relax.

Don't have to fight them or run away from them. Doesn't work anyway.

Somehow I need to practice this a lot. Practice it for years now, you know. Yeah. So, thanks Daniel if you give me some advice there. But I know that all on a logical level, but uh practicing it is a totally different thing. But Oh, I know. I shouldn't resist. That's good that you know that. Try it, man. It's different. It's like reading a book about surfing and surfing the [ __ ] waves. It's like [ __ ] totally different. At least for me. Yeah. Yeah. But then you just agree with everything that comes in. You know, I don't like it. I don't like it. I agree. I agree. This feels horrible. I agree. This feels horrible. Yeah. It's kind of ending the fight.

When you feel the fight comes in, you acknowledge it and agree with it. Yes. I agree. I agree. You can't forget.

I always forget agreeing with the fight and I identify with the fight. I don't identify with the emotion but I identify with the thought and yeah that's what the self is hiding in resistance. Yeah that's what we call me is that sense of resisting that cell sense that arises when there's pushing or pulling.

What time is it? Yeah. Oh it's almost over. Okay. I'm going to go then. Okay. Okay. Thank you. Well, thank you everyone. Thank you. And just before we go, I want to say that I've been working on something for months and my website, it hasn't been built yet. It's in progress and once it's built I'm going to start a new round of um what to say 8 week experience that will be supported with group meetings and all that. It's nothing to do just yet. I'm just putting it out that it's coming. And that's it. And thank you everyone so much for showing up today and sharing and listening and holding the space. And it's so nice to see your faces and your smiles and your hearts. Yes. Yay. And thank you. Until the next time, next month again. I'll say this again. Thank you. Thank you very much. Thank you. Bye. Thank you. Bye.